Batman : Invasion
by robster72
Summary: Chapter Elevan submitted. Doctor Who crossover. Daleks and the Master are in Gotham and they are not just planning on seeing the sights. All reviews welcome!
1. The Doctor Visits

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter One - Batman – Invasion**

The warrior had been dormant for some considerable time. It had lowered its shields to mask its emission signatures. Several small sensors were placed outside the building and its onboard battle computer was planning out hundreds of strategies and possible exits. It was one of the originals and its battle computer, hard coded into prisms of crystal, had tactics and experience honed from over a thousand worlds and a thousand battles.

The sensors were still not showing who the warrior was after but no matter.

He would be along eventually.

The hook was baited.

The trap was set.

The ripples would be sensed through the space-time continuum bringing its prey towards him.

It could wait.

* * *

It was one of those days that seemed to Bruce Wayne as if the whole world was against him.

For a start he was deathly tired. The Joker and Batman had been having their deadly game of cat and mouse for over three weeks and the Clown Prince of Crime was still no closer to being caught. Already over a dozen corpses had turned up with their trademark grins showing the manner of their demise.

"I really think you should see a doctor, sir," said Alfred. "Or at the very least a bed. You have been awake for the best of my knowledge for nearly five days; that has to be pushing even your limits."

Bruce ignored him; as he closed his eyes a cloud of white spots danced in front of his vision, his headache was just threatening to explode. He put a hand to his head and groaned.

"Sir, I will not be party to…"

He should never have gone out hunting the previous night; he had already been awake for well over seventy-two hours before that. The signs were all there, he was getting tired and working too hard. The problem was if he got tired in his line of work he stood a good chance of getting dead, or worse, other people getting dead.

His memory drifted back to the previous night. He had tracked the Joker and Harlequin down to St Peter's Church on Harlington Street. The Joker had taken the choir and the vicar hostage. The demented fiend had been dancing all up and down the aisle and he had been trying to force the vicar to marry himself and Harley.

"D-d-d-do you, errmm, J-j-joker take this…"

"You can say clown, I don't mind."

"Clown to be your lawfully wedded husband," said the Vicar getting it completely wrong.

"Oh puddin', you never got me an engagement ring?"

"I'll cut one off one of the choir later; don't worry your pretty painted face about that."

"You say the sweetest things!"

The Batman hid behind a well-carved wall cartouche dedicated to the brave soldiers of Washington who had died defending it against the British. The shadows of the life-size carved soldiers hid the Batman. He had placed a small device on the fuse box in the church earlier.

This was just a matter of timing.

"Does anyone know any reason in law why these two can't be married?"

Foom!

"There's always a critic!" The lights went out, casting the church into Stygian darkness. "I never invited Bats, did you, Harley?"

"I don't know, puddin', you were in charge of the invitations."

"Gate crashers. Come Harley, let's go to the reception."

Batman slid his green starlight lenses down and could see the church in a sea of green. He could see the Joker and Harley struggling in the darkness to run to the door. The Joker hit his shin a couple of times on the pews to colourful swearing. The choir members were screaming in the unaccustomed darkness.

One of the Joker's men lunged out at the shadowy figure coming at him out of the darkness. It was dark and Batman did not see the knife. The man had painted it black but it was only an inner instinct that made him turn sideways at the last nanosecond, and as such it only scraped harmlessly against the armour on his chest. He pulled the man towards him and knocked him out with an elbow to the chin.

He threw a weighted batarang towards the Joker but his aim was off. He had already been awake for seventy-two hours trying to track him down and he was getting too tired.

Too weak.

Too human.

It was then he saw the bomb and saw one of the choir was chained to it. Why hadn't he seen it before? He could see the Joker struggling to open the door at the end. "Toodle-oo, Batman! See you at the reception!"

Go after him or defuse the bomb?

There was no choice at all. He crouched next to the bomb.

It was a custom job with a mercury switch with the Joker's trademark clown face daubed on it. A mercury switch consists of a sealed glass tube containing two unconnected electrodes and a small amount of liquid mercury. As long as the liquid metal remains on the opposite end of the tube, the electrodes remain disconnected and no current will flow. Once the tube is moved past a certain angle, however, the mercury will pool between the two electrodes and a connection is made. The result is electricity flowing through a completed circuit and an exploded bomb.

The woman chained to the bomb tried to stand up.

"Don't move," he said huskily. "You'll set off the bomb."

"Aaaaaahh!" She tried to get to her feet.

Batman pushed her harshly down. "I said don't move."

She started crying, sobbing quietly at first, the sobs getting louder with each passing second. Batman pressed a button on his belt and lights blazed out in the church again. The woman whimpered when she saw the masked and demonic looking rescuer.

"Don't move, you'll disturb this." The padlock for the woman's chains had been pushed deep into the bomb itself, stopping him from picking it. If he tried to saw through it with the tools he had with him he could disturb the bomb.

She was stuck there until he defused the bomb or it went off.

She started crying again. Batman concentrated on the bomb. The mercury switch was obvious but there were several trigger wires leading to the bomb itself, some had to be false leads, but which? It seemed to be a parcel of semtex surrounded by bits of rusty metal.

Lethal.

"Everybody else, leave," he said huskily. He could hear behind him the choir and the vicar leaving via the main atrium. They dragged the henchman the Batman had knocked out with them. In the distance he could hear the sound of police sirens approaching.

They would be safe.

The hostage was still crying. He had to take her mind off it. He looked up at her, taking in the salient details about her in an instant. "Tell me about your family. You have two small children, is that right? A boy and a girl?"

She stopped sniffling and looked at him. "That's impossible! How do you know?"

The red wire was copper and the green wire seemed to be a gold filament. Very good quality for this, the question was, were they booby trapped? Of course they were, the only booby here was him.

"Your car keys are for a Ford Focus. There is only one Focus in the parking lot and it has two car seats in it, one pink, one blue."

"Well, if you cheat it's easy. I thought you were being clever. Tell me something that isn't in the car then?"

Two alkali batteries provided the power and there was a small watch battery just under the fuse. Could he break the glass and drain the mercury?

Keep her talking; stop her thinking about the bomb. "Like what then?"

"Errrm, what picture have I got half way up the stairs?"

"Your wedding photo."

"Now I know you're cheating. What's my cat called?"

Batman spared a glance at her. Pink clothes and a pink hat, some black and white Persian cat hairs were on her socks. "Fluffles?" he hazarded.

"Wrong, completely wrong, Mr Detective." She looked very pleased with herself and nearly raised her hands until the Batman shook his head. "Fluffikins. Completely different."

If I can maintain the circuit and cross the wires I should be able to fool the circuit into thinking it is still attached to the bomb and defuse it safely.

"I like this game, let me try it out on you, Mr Batman."

"Okay." Anything to stop her jolting this bomb. He got out a small pair of wire-cutters from his utility belt and stripped the outer covering from one of the wires.

"I think you are a man."

"Right so far." She looked smug at this and tried to clap her hands. Batman grabbed her hands together with a grip like iron. "Don't move!" She started sobbing again. Oh god. "Sorry, carry on."

"You like animals?"

"What?"

"Well, dressed like a bat and all?"

"Yes." Right, attach this wire round to the other wire.

"You like dressing up?"

He sighed. "Yes." The circuit was complete. It should be fine now. He licked his lips nervously. Or was that what the Joker wanted him to do?

No, he could not afford to double think. Wrong, he could not afford not to double think. He rubbed his hand over his unshaven chin, producing a rasping sound. He produced a small dentist's mirror and looked under the bomb.

Damn.

There was another small wire and circuit under the bomb.

He was getting tired. Too many sleepless nights under the cowl. He would have no more if he didn't start concentrating.

"Are you a Taurus?"

"What? Why?"

"Well with the horns and …"

"They are ears." In a few seconds he had isolated the other circuit.

This is it. He snipped the wires surrounding the semtex and took out the bomb and quickly picked the padlocks holding the woman to the bomb.

"Well, have you thought of…" She suddenly realised she was talking to herself and her chains were on the ground next to the disarmed bomb. The wind whistled eerily through the pews as the door flapped on its hinges. A heavily armed policeman peered nervously through the door at her.

"I must insist you sleep, sir."

"Gotham needs…"

"Gotham will still be there when you wake, sir; Robin will keep an eye out for him. Please sir? You need to be at your best for the Wayne Foundation Gala ball we are holding tonight. If Bruce Wayne appears tired and exhausted at the time it is known the Joker is running the Batman ragged…"

Bruce Wayne collapsed heavily on the bed. "Wake me if anything happens."

"Of course, sir. Goodnight sir."

Alfred switched off the lights as he crept out of the room. Sometimes Bruce was his own worse enemy.

Bruce slept deeply. His dreams were haunted by clown shapes laughing at him, always out of reach.

* * *

"Come over here."

"Wassat?"

"You'll catch your death sleeping in shop doorways, son. There's a soup kitchen just a block away."

"You might be a weirdo; I ain't going nowhere with you."

The man fumbled in his pocket and brought out a small plastic wallet with an official looking identification. "I'm part of the Gotham Feed the Homeless Group. Come on, it's going to be a cold night; you've got nothing to lose."

The man peered at the identification. "Okay, I could do with a walk anyway. Let me get my stuff. What's your name anyway?"

"I'm Gifford, Crowmarsh Gifford. Founded the Group. Come on, we've got your friends there already."

The man shuffled after him. His feet were wrapped in newspapers against the cold and his face was pinched and red from the cold. "I'm Sam Fulton. You ain't got a ciggy have you? Gasping here."

Gifford gave an easy smile and reached into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. "There you go, Sam. It's tough out on the streets. You people need all the help you can get."

"You ain't church types are you? With your bleedin' philosophy?"

"Nothing like."

"That's alright then." He sighed as he breathed in the smoke. He followed Gifford into a building that had the Gotham Feed the Homeless Group sign on the outside.

"We don't need your soul." Gifford gestured for the man to follow him, then he winced and held his head. For a moment, a brief moment, he felt like he was floating in a small capsule, the centre of a complex machine, he couldn't walk, he couldn't even breathe. Then it was over.

"You okay?"

Crowmarsh Gifford tried to smile. "Fine, fine. It'll pass. Come on, they'll just be starting to serve soup."

* * *

The Boy Wonder was currently surveying the street scene beneath him. A hotdog stand was doing a brisk trade, as was a pickpocket. The rain was coming down in big dollops now, splattering against the side of the building and against Robin.

In a few seconds he had rappelled down the side of the building into a small dark alleyway and was examining his prey.

It was a small thin boy, with greasy blonde hair. He was currently after a young woman's handbag. Robin swiftly threw a line round him and dragged him, kicking and screaming, into the dark alley.

Half a minute later he was hanging upside down from a nearby lamp post with one of Robin's calling cards on him telling the police who he was.

A quiet night, even with the Joker at large.

Robin touched his communicator. "Oracle, it's R, you awake?"

"Just about."

"Any sign of the big J?"

"Nada. I've been monitoring the police band, not much happening. There are a few strange reports I've been getting, however."

"Go on?"

"The vagrant population in Gotham has plummeted over the past couple of weeks."

"It's getting colder. They don't migrate, do they?"

She ignored that comment. "There are no new initiatives for rehousing them that I am aware of. No neighbouring cities have reported an increase."

"I'll keep an eye out for anything strange. Robin out."

An eerie groaning sound started from the alleyway, getting louder and louder. Then a pulsing light started, illuminating the entire area. Robin, used to dark, half covered his eyes at this. A blue box gradually appeared in the alleyway, solidifying as he watched.

What the hell?

The noise and lights died down as the object got more distinct.

It had the words 'Police Public Call Box' emblazoned at the top of it. Robin walked up to it and touched it with a gloved hand. He could feel power throbbing through it and the surface, although it looked painted on, was smooth and frictionless.

He could see several shadows through the frosted glass windows on the side and he could hear hands fumble for the door.

Now this must qualify as strange.

* * *

London.

On the top floor of Canary Wharf is a clandestine organisation called Torchwood that was formed over one hundred years ago. Its very name was synonymous with one of its greatest targets.

"We've got a positive identification."

"Show me?"

The man pointed at a cctv image on one of the screens in front of him. "Just a sec, let me zoom in. There, see? Is that out of place, or is that out of place?"

"In Gotham as well, of all places. Have we any agents there?" She asked more out of hope than anything. Although the organisation had a global remit the agents could only be in places of certain activity and recently that had all been in England.

"Not as yet, but it might be good to try out one of our new agents. Jack?"

A well-dressed rather dapper man stood up from one of the office cubicles. He cracked a cheesy smile to her. "Dear lady?"

"What do you know of Gotham, Captain Jack Harkness?"

"Nasty ugly place, full of nasty ugly sociopaths dressed as flying rodents. Can't get a decent cup of tea, more rats than people and it always rains. And it smells. And that is just what the Gotham Tourist Information Board say."

"Your flight leaves in an hour."

"I'll get my toothbrush!"


	2. Coffee and armoured pepper pots

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to DragonFlame27 and Rabbit of Iron for the reviews so far! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Two - Batman – Invasion**

A pretty blonde girl walked out of the police box first of all and wrinkled her nose up at what she saw. She was followed shortly afterwards by a dark haired young man with a pinstriped suit and, rather incongruously, trainers.

"You take me to all the nice places, Doctor."

"I know a great little sushi bar round here, trust me, Rose." The travelling Time Lord known as the Doctor slowed down as he took in the grim sights of Gotham. The tall grey buildings, the smell of rubbish and rats and worse. The rain coming down in never-ending sheets as if God himself was trying to wipe the city from the face of the planet. "Or maybe not."

"You don't know where we are, do you?"

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets and gave a broad grin. "Of course I know where we are!"

Rose folded her arms. "Where?"

The Doctor spread his arms out wide. "We're here, exactly where we should be!"

"And why?" Rose took a look round her. "This place smells as bad as that garbage planet you took me to last week."

"I was getting a strange signal from there. Never did find what it was. I'm sure it screwed up the navigation system."

"We got a strange signal? We got a strange smell from there," said Rose. "I had to have five baths to get rid of the smell."

"Well, whatever it was, it seems to have affected the Tardis and taken us here, wherever here is."

The Doctor sauntered out of the alleyway and casually picked up a paper in passing. "The Gotham Tribune! I do believe we are in the good old US of jolly old A!"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why are we here?"

"Why anything? Why is the sky blue? Why is the Earth round? Why do I seem to have trodden in something smelly?" The Doctor wiped his trainer on a broken kerbstone that had been pushed through the sidewalk like a small tombstone. "Okay, let's get some food, get some coffee and get out of here. Have you ever heard of the everlasting coffee pot?"

* * *

"Report!"

Crowmarsh Gifford squinted into the light. He could not see who he was talking to. "I think we should slow the collection program down, your eminence." There was silence. "We don't want to arouse suspicions." The silence grated on. "All I'm saying is we should be a bit more careful."

"We need more specimens for experimentation. The ones we have had have not survived. Time is against us. We need more, Gifford, lots more, and quickly."

"I understand, sir, it's just…" It was as if every nerve fibre had been ripped from his body; it only lasted two seconds but he thought his end had come. He fell to his knees.

"We accept no excuses."

"Sir, you are already in my mind, you've taken me from my time, when will you release me and return me to my home?"

"You are out of time, Mr Gifford, and that will attract some people like flies round a corpse."

* * *

Robin was examining the strange two from on high.

"Oracle, this is Robin, have you got these two on camera? Who are they?"

"Where did they come from?"

"You see that blue box?"

"Just let me angle the camera. Yep."

"From in there."

"The two of them? Kinky! Where did that blue box come from?"

"One minute it wasn't there, the next it was."

"You keep an eye on our two lovebirds; I'm going to hit the research. I'll call you when I get anything."

* * *

The Doctor raised an arm. "Some coffee here, please, honey!"

"Honey?" said Rose.

"All waitresses in America are called Honey."

The waitress, a pretty dark haired girl, seemed to be ignorant of this fact as well. "What can I get you guys?"

"White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino."

"Make that two," said Rose.

"Two."

"Sugar?"

"I thought waitresses were called honey?" asked the Doctor.

"Would you like sugar with that?" she asked patiently.

"Two lumps please," said the Doctor, then as she put in some sugar, "and some sugar."

The Doctor paid her the exact amount. She stood there patiently with her hand out, waiting for the tip. The Doctor shook her hand and went to sit down with Rose on some comfy sofas looking out over Gotham.

"So this is the famous Gotham City, is it?" said Rose.

"No, it's a coffee shop." He sniffed the coffee suspiciously. "I'm sure I ordered a White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino; did you hear me order a White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino? What is a White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino anyway? What are you reading?"

Rose threw the paper down on the table. On the front cover was a picture of handsome billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. He was giving a gala meal at his mansion tonight in aid of 'feed the hungry in Africa'. He was laying on acrobats, fire-eaters and dancers. The paper said it would be the best party of the year. Anyone who was anyone would be there. "That looks fun."

The Doctor glanced at it dismissively. "Ticket only and it looks dull."

"You owe me big time, remember, especially after that garbage planet you took me to?"

He winced. "But a party, it'll be dull. Besides," he perked up, "I thought you wanted to look up good old Mickey!"

"Mickey is not in Gotham, and neither is Mum." She looked at the picture of Bruce Wayne. He was effortlessly handsome with a lock of dark hair just falling over one eye. "Are you jealous of a photo?"

"What, him?" he said dismissively. "He looks like a body-builder, and too much of a pretty boy."

"Jealous?"

"I am the last of an ancient line of Time Lords, lone defender of the laws of time, protector of Rasillon's legacy and nearly a thousand years old; I don't get jealous."

"You're jealous!"

"Okay, we're going, we're going."

"It says it's ticket only?"

"I've broken into more heavily armed buildings, space ships and planets than you've had hot dinners; I don't think a big wig's ball will hold much problem."

* * *

An hour later Bruce Wayne woke up totally rested. Long ago he had studied with a Korean martial arts master by the name of Kirigi. He had taught him how to meditate and re-energise the body in a fraction of the time a full night's sleep could take.

He was up and alert and working through the minimum exercises he did every day. A ten-mile run and five hundred press-ups in the cave's gym. The huge screen behind him lit up as the Oracle appeared. "Any sightings?" he asked; he was not even breathing heavily after a ten mile run completed in under forty minutes.

"Nada, zip. Old Jokey boy has gone to ground."

He was just starting his press ups: first of all on two hands. "Any disasters, or problems while I slept?"

"Nope, a strange sighting though."

He was now doing press ups on one hand. "What?"

"This." The screen showed a blue police box.

"A police box?" His mind worked rapidly even while he changed to doing press ups on three fingers. "Originated in Britain, judging by the design about 1950's. The phone was so that constables or the public could call the police, and it could also be used a temporary holding cell."

"Spot on."

He changed to doing press ups on two fingers. "The background looks like Gotham. The theatre district unless I miss my guess, corner of thirtieth and fourth?"

"You're dead right."

He changed to doing press ups on one thumb. "What's it doing in Gotham?"

"That is the question."

* * *

"Have you anything to declare?"

"Can't we just get straight to the strip search?"

* * *

Bruce Wayne went behind a screen to have a quick shower whilst still talking to Oracle. He shivered as the cold water played over his body.

"There has to be more to this than you are telling me?"

"Robin said that police box just appeared in front of him. Also there were two people in that box."

"Where are they now?"

"Robin is following them."

"Now this is strange, don't you think this is strange? I find it strange. In fact I find it bizarre, extraordinary, weird, and I would even go so far as to say odd."

The Doctor was standing outside a door in Gotham. It was one of the red brick town houses. Outside on the wall was nailed an elegant wooden sign saying 'Mermaid Tavern, 29-30 Bread Street'.

"It's a sign. So what, have you thought of how we are getting to this party?"

"Don't you think it curious that a house in Gotham would have a sign up saying it is the Mermaid Tavern?"

She curled up her lip. "Well, maybe it is?"

"Let me tell you about the Mermaid Tavern. It is in London, a marvellous building. I first visited it in 1411. A very exclusive place. All the great writers went there, Shakespeare, Donne, Beaumont and Johnson himself."

"So someone's a fan, or stole the sign."

"Unlikely."

"Why?"

"It burnt down in 1666, I know as I saw it burn myself. I accidentally started the Great Fire myself. An accident with myself and a Terrileptil."

"Okay, so it's a copy?"

The Doctor examined it closely. "It looks like the original to me."

She crossed her arms. "How would you know?"

"Two years with the sign writer's guild in 1664." He started to sing.

"Souls of poets dead and gone,

What Elysium have ye known,

Happy field or mossy cavern,

Choicer than the Mermaid Tavern?"

He smiled at Rose and said, "Do you know what that tells us?"

"That you shouldn't enter the X-factor?"

"I painted this sign myself. Someone is trying to attract my attention."

Rose looked at the sign, her attention at last piqued. "How do you know you painted it?"

"The mermaid is holding a small Tardis in one hand."

* * *

A small beeping sound alerted the warrior. A mixture of adrenaline and some choice amino acids flooded his veins from the life support system speeding his response rates. His target was approaching.

Various commands and plans activated subroutines, most of which were instantly discarded but one came to the fore.

His enemy was approaching.

The bait had been seen and now the _Ka Faraq Gatri_ could be eliminated. His physical appearance had changed yet again but the warrior could detect something that no Time Lord could change. The dual heartbeats beat out a rhythm together that was as unique as a fingerprint, as matchless as a snowflake and one the warrior was determined to silence forever.

It was just starting to activate its on-board weaponry when it detected a communication signal from nearby.

"… just looking at a sign, B, I…"

Target seeking routines located the source. A young human perched precariously above the street about fifty feet from _Ka Faraq Gatri_. There must be no witnesses.

They must all be eliminated starting with the last Time Lord.

* * *

The Doctor walked up to the doors of the building that had the Mermaid Tavern sign out front. He checked his reflection, made a vague attempt at straightening his tie, then pressed the doorbell.

"Brrrinnnnnggggg."

The Doctor might seem charming, irrational, handsome and clever but he was a survivor. You don't clock up over 900 years experience without knowing when to stand up and when to duck.

He fell to the ground and rolled painfully down the steps as the front door exploded in a mass of super-heated air. Bits of splintered wood and burning door fell to the ground in parabolic arcs, some of it settling in the oak trees that lined the street and starting small fires themselves.

Where was Rose? He panicked slightly until he saw her hiding behind a brown sedan car.

Another bolt of energy shot through the smoke at him just as he rolled away. He smelt burnt hair. Since he was the only thing with hair around he had to assume it was him. This was not a pleasant thought.

He scampered on hands and knees behind the car with Rose.

"Did they know about the sign?" asked Rose sweetly.

"I don't think they like visitors."

"Did you know your hair is smoking?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

* * *

The Boy Wonder looked in astonishment at the scene below. He had seen a lot in his short life, but a front door exploding and what looked like an armoured pepper pot floating through the smoking ruins of the entrance was not one of them.

"Jeez!"

A bolt of energy shot up towards his hiding place, sending bits of brickwork and dust flying.

Unreal. He had been hiding on the rooftops trailing these two for the past couple of hours; he had been trained by the Batman himself, he was good at not being seen. He would have been insulted if anyone had spotted him and this thing had seen him straight away.

He rolled down the side of the roof. Another energy blast sent a shower of tiles over the streets of Gotham.

What the hell was it? Some sort of remote control tank or something? Whatever it was he had to stop it.

"R to B, come in B?" he said as he got to his feet and started spinning on a gutter down the side of the building. Another energy blast blew out the window next to him and said a shower of razor sharp glass to the ground, sending him flying onto a balcony.

"Yes?"

"You would not believe the day I'm having!"

* * *

The car the Doctor was hiding behind was hit full on by the Dalek and went careering ten feet into the air as the energy dissipated. The Doctor and Rose scampered behind the next vehicle just as the first car landed with a huge crash on the street, sending wheels and bits of car flying.

Rose looked at a smoking tyre as it rolled past their new hiding place. "I thought you had got rid of those creatures?"

"So did I," said the Doctor as he peered round the fender of the car. The Dalek was cream and gold. "That's an Imperial Dalek, but that's impossible!"

"Like an Imperial Mint?"

"No."

"Doctor, it's starting to hover, and what the hell else is it shooting at?" She looked up at the sky. The Dalek was blasting seven hells out of the building. They could just see a small boy bouncing and darting over the side of the building as easily as if it were flat. The boy waved his arm and several small metal objects came flying out of his hand with unerring aim towards the Dalek.

The street under the Dalek erupted in a series of explosions.

"UNDER ATTACK!"

The Dalek, even though it was hovering, went spinning off down the street, crashing into a lamp post and a post box. It fired twice more at the Boy Wonder and then for good measure at the car the Doctor was hiding behind.

"Rose?"

"Doctor?"

"RUN!"

* * *

The Dalek detected communication between the young human and its cohorts. Swiftly it blocked the radio transmission by letting loose a stream of static. Its on board sensors were still ringing from the explosions. The Doctor, the craven coward that he was, was running down the street but this small human was disrupting his plans. He would terminate this insolent young human first and then destroy the Time Lord.

It started feeding power to its anti-gravitational motors and started floating easily up towards Robin. Its vision showed a small cross hair and Dalek writing streamed across the screen feeding him information as his weaponry zoomed in on the boy.

BANG!

Two hundred and twenty pounds worth of black clad hero thumped into the side of the Dalek and sent it crashing into the side of a building eight floors up in a shower of bricks and mortar.

The Batman let go of his d-cel line and followed the creature into the hole he had created in the block of flats. The creature was on its side in a bathroom. Water was gushing out of a broken pipe and pouring over the Dalek.

There was a humming sound as the creature righted itself and pointed its gun right at the Batman.


	3. Police hospitality

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan and Rabbit of Iron for the reviews so far! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Three - Batman – Invasion**

The Doctor ran down the street, Rose in hot pursuit.

"It's wrong, it's all wrong."

He looked behind him; there was a hole in the building where the Batman had kicked the Dalek. Blue glows and explosions erupted in the building as the Batman fought the creature.

"What's wrong?"

"That's an Imperial Dalek, one of Davros's breed."

"Who's Davros?"

"He's from Skaro, the home planet of the Dalek's. He's their creator. To cut a long story short, they turned on him so he turned on them and created a new breed of Dalek's. The Imperial Dalek faction. They have been fighting each other off and on for centuries."

"Just as mean, but white and gold?"

"Yep."

"What's wrong with having one here then?"

"The Time Lords wiped out the Imperial Dalek's and Davros first in the Time War, before they turned on the others."

She shrugged. "So some survived?"

"You don't know the Time Lords - they don't…" he hesitated, "didn't make mistakes like that."

"We know some survived, we've seen them, why not these Imperials as well?"

"I've got a very nasty feeling as to where we are and when we are." For once the Doctor looked pale and ashen.

"What's wrong then? This is a time machine, surely we could have gone back to where the Daleks are?"

"You don't understand the Time War, and you've never seen Time Lords fight."

* * *

What was this machine?

Where had it come from?

All these questions and more flooded the Batman's mind as he ducked and spun around the confines of the flat as energy bursts leapt around him. Whatever it was, it was angry.

"I have established contact with the Doctor," it suddenly started speaking.

The Batman threw a small explosive capsule in its way, blowing apart the flooring and sending it crashing through the floor and onto the middle of a double bed.

The building was empty for major redecoration and refurbishment, and it would need it after this fight.

He could hear the harsh grating sounds of the machine speaking. "Under attack! No, the Doctor has evaded me." There was a few seconds silence as if it was talking to someone else. "Confirmed. I have failed. Will self-terminate now, wide area spread to eradicate witnesses confirmed."

The Batman looked down at the hole in the floor in shock.

"Robin, get out of here!" he said to his communicator.

The machine was there but it was starting to glow red. The strange globes that surrounded the Dalek seemed to disengage from the machine and threw themselves out in a circle, embedding themselves deep in the wall and floor.

The Batman ran for the nearest window and threw himself out. As he leapt he locked his arms around his head to protect his face and braced as the window shattered around him, and then he was a hundred feet in the air.

Behind him the building seemed to convulse. All the windows blew out, then they disappeared as they were vaporised in the red heat of an explosion. The scarlet firestorm of the explosion beckoned to him, the flames wanting to embrace him as one of their own.

The Batman reached for his grappling gun and fired at the nearest building. Just before the explosion would have enveloped him the motor pulled him free and the Batman swung away from the blast behind him, his cloak smouldering and on fire.

Seconds later he landed agilely on the cornice of a building, the Boy Wonder was next to him. The building he had been in was gone. It had gone as efficiently as if a surgical strike had hit it.

* * *

The plane touched down in Gotham International Airport. Captain Jack Harkness gave a broad grin to one of the usherettes and one of the ushers as he walked out. He had both of their phone numbers. If they could make sure they were in the same city at the same time he could have a real wahey of a time!

* * *

The Batman impatiently put out the flames on his cloak. In the distance he could start to hear the sound of sirens. Gordon would be there with questions. Questions he could not answer.

"Do you know what that was?" asked Robin, his eyes scanning the streets below.

He shook his head.

"That machine turned up when those two appeared in that box."

Batman looked at Robin. "It's a police box, I've seen the picture. The question is, what does it have to do with that machine we just fought?" He pressed his communicator button. The Batman was harshly lit up in blue light as the streets beneath him started to fill with the emergency services. "Oracle, have you got any information for me?"

"Oh yes. Well, on the police box anyway, I haven't found much yet on that particular man and woman Robin was trailing."

"Go on."

"It's a harbinger."

"What?"

"Of doom."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like a portent or an omen."

"What are you talking about?" asked Batman irritably.

"If you see that in the area you'd be best off digging a big hole and hiding in it because hell will soon be following."

* * *

"Have you ever seen anything like that before?" asked Rose.

"What, a man on a line kicking a Dalek through a building? Curiously no. Any idea who would or could do such a thing? I mean - we are in Gotham City and a man in fancy dress like a giant bat is swinging on a line?" He furrowed his forehead. "Well, I'm out of ideas," he said brightly. "But he seemed useful in a tight spot." He looked worried. "I hope he got out of that building okay. I've never seen a Dalek blow up like that before."

"Why are you worried about this Imperial lot then? We've just travelled back to when they were. So what?"

"Time is not like a river, you cannot just dip in and out of it and expect to not see a difference. The Time Lords hunted Davros and the Imperial Daleks all over time and all through the galaxy. They did not bother with any crude guns, they pinched the time lines either side of where they appeared and erased it. Time then washed through again clear of Dalek influence. Erased them from history. If we are in a time line with Imperials in it we've got a good chance of disappearing with them. That energy beacon in the garbage planet must have knocked us out of alignment."

"I don't understand."

He cocked his head to one side while he thought. "Unless we are in a time line prior to the time line that gets erased? Or adjacent? Or one they missed? Or are we in the middle of one that has been erased? Or are we in the recycle bin of history?"

"I'm getting a headache. What happens if we are in one of those time thingies then?"

He shrugged. "We'll probably get erased from history! Something odd is happening here! Something we should look at!" His previous moroseness seemed to disappear. "We've got a party to go to, anyway!"

Rose looked perplexed. "Don't you want to find out what this Imperial Dalek was about for?"

The Doctor pointed at the building. "He seems to have cleverly obliterated any clues. There cannot be many of them here as yet." He checked his watch. "It must be about the start of the 21st century." He tapped it. "Maybe a few years past."

"Are they invading the Earth?"

The Doctor chuckled. "Why do you humans always think it's about you? There are other planets out there, you know. Besides, they don't need to invade, they already take over your planet in 2164."

"What? Where were you?"

"I can't be everywhere at once. Well, I say they did - this Time War makes life very complicated. Do I mean makes, made or maiden? Besides which, let's get to this party of yours."

"I'm all for parties, Doctor," said Rose, smiling at him sweetly. "But why now?"

"It will have the top people in Gotham there. The big wigs, the acne, the zenith. Do I mean acne or acme? Anyway, somebody must have noticed something strange going on in this berg. Besides which, I'm hungry." He crooked his arm and Rose slid her arm in. "Let's go partying!"

* * *

Wayne Manor.

Called the sleeping beauty among country houses in the area, it nestles in the craggy foothills around Gotham and rests between the river, woods and parkland. The place was a hive of activity, as Alfred was getting ready for the party. He always liked organising these events; it brought him back in mind to when Bruce's parents were alive and the house was always the centre of attention.

There would be lots of small children there so he had fenced off a corner of the garden and had a large bouncy castle put in place. A few small swings and slides had been put in place as well.

He was hoping the rain would stop soon. He looked up at the sky anxiously. There was a patch of blue sky in the distance; the rain should all blow out eventually. He shuddered when he saw one of the entertainers for the children putting on clown makeup under the cover of a small mini van.

It always made him think of the Joker and there was precious little to laugh about with him.

"Do we need more champagne, Mr Pennyworth?" One of the organisers was tapping him on the shoulder. He hated that.

"Well, how much have we?"

"Two hundred bottles of Moët's Cuvée Dom Pérignon."

"What year?"

"1988."

"I'm sure that won't be appreciated with most of the people on the guest list, but we cannot scrimp. Have a few bottles of Rose Champagne ready to distribute as well."

Outside the front of the house a huge marquee was in the process of being put up. He checked his watch. Where was Mr Wayne?

The garden was a hive of activity. Several trucks were coming up the drive slowly. All laden with tables, chairs, table cloths, food and all the accoutrements needed. The huge kitchens of Wayne Manor was now full of people cutting, preparing and cooking food.

The guests would be turning up soon. Mr Wayne needed to be here to welcome the guests. Where was he? Surely Gotham could survive a few hours without its masked protector?

He had to know. He picked up his phone. He had a speed dial to the Batman's communicator. His finger hovered over the button.

He would be on time, he always was. He need not bother badgering him.

* * *

Jack Harkness strolled nonchalantly out of the airport. There was a row of yellow cabs waiting patiently for their fares. Jack walked up to the first one and opened the door.

The driver was a small skeletally thin man who was smoking a long hand rolled joint.

He flashed his perfect smile at the man and said, "Police Headquarters, Gotham Central." He opened the door letting out a cloud of blue tinged smoke.

The driver said nothing, just drove out gently so as not to disturb his joint that he had hanging out the window.

* * *

"Where did you last see those two?" said the Batman to Robin.

"They were going thataway." With not another word said they both leapt from their high perch and started swinging through the streets.

When searching or following someone the real professionals get to know someone's walking style. That can be as distinctive as a signature for some people. The Doctor and Rose had a very distinctive walking style and a very distinctive way of dressing. To someone like Batman and Robin they might as well have been wearing day glow sneakers and carrying a sign saying "Perps this way!"

They paused again in their hunt, skulking in the dark rooftops while they surveyed the strangers.

"What should we do Batman?"

The Batman was silent, contemplating. The Joker was still loose and he did not trust these two. They were unknowns and he did not like unknowns. If they were unknown he would rather they were unknown in the police station than walking free in Gotham.

"What should we do?"

The Batman's phone silently vibrated, showing he had a message. He quickly glanced at it. "Alfred. Damn, I've got to be going soon."

"What do we do about these two?"

They had done nothing wrong. Nothing that he knew of at the moment, but his senses screamed at him that there was something wide of the mark with these two. "Gordon owes us big time," hissed the Batman. "We'll ask him to take them off the streets for a few hours while we find out what they are doing here."

"You stay here," he said to Robin, "I'll take them out."

He left Robin behind for a reason. He did not know these two. He did not know what skills they possessed. He would rather find out for himself that have to see it being inflicted on the boy. He felt in his utility belt for a couple of tranquilliser darts. He had put small indentations on them so he knew the strength of them and could tell in the dark. The woman was small and slight, she would not need much; the man was taller and lean so would need a different dose. He swung quietly down the street and loosed the two darts at the same time.

He let go of the line and swung himself around on a fire escape and dropped noiselessly the ten feet to the ground in front of the two. Several Gothamites carried on walking past, eyes down, trying to avoid looking at the demonic figure. In Gotham if you ignored the costumes you stood a better chance of surviving till your next paycheck.

The girl had already fallen to the ground. The man was still standing; with an almost irritable gesture he pulled the dart from his neck. "What did you do that for?" he asked the Batman. "Impressive stunt with the Dalek, by the way. Word of advice, don't stand in front of it next time, that's the bit that goes bang."

He looked at the dart and sniffed it. "Chloral hydrate, quite effective on bipedal organisms." He looked down at Rose and his eyebrows raised in shock. "Rose? What have you done to her?" He pulled the dart out of her neck. He checked her pulse and pulled her eyelids back to look at her eyes. "Out like a light, should wake up in a few…" What he was about to say was silenced as the Batman aimed a karate chop at his neck.

The Batman quickly tied them up with some plastic cuffs. He then pressed his communicator button. He waited for a few rings until someone answered. "Gordon, this is Batman, I need to ask a favour."

* * *

Gotham Police Headquarters is built on the same design as some of the ancient castles, not so much in its look but in its function. It has no castellations, moats and pits, but the walls are thick and it is pretty well impregnable. The walls are over four feet thick at the base, covered in anti-climb paint. The windows are bulletproof and barred. The reception room is the only one in America with a machine gun post in it. The wanted board is like one of those wooden boards that offices have with a slide that tells you if the person is in or out. The board has the names permanently embossed in of such characters as the Joker and Two-face. They just found it saved money in the long term rather than printing out the posters all the time.

Jack walked up to the reception desk and pulled out a bit of paper. It was psychic paper; it told the person what they expected to see. He smiled at the receptionist. She was a pretty blonde girl about mid twenties. "Hi, I'm expected." He waved the paper quickly in front of her.

"Sorry, who are you?"

"Captain Jack Harkness, special agent with the FBI."

She looked at the paper when Jack stopped waving it in front of her. "It says CIA on your bit of paper."

"What's a few letters between friends?"

"Well, quite a bit, actually!"

"Letters, numbers, what's the difference. What's yours by the way?"

"What?"

"Number? You do have a phone, don't you, or shall I just take you out for lunch now?"

"You're confident!"

"No, just very, very good." He gave her the benefit of his conman's smile and winked at her.

"Who are you after, anyway?"

"Guy called Gordon."

"Is the Commissioner expecting you?"

The huge steel door creaked open next to the reception desk and a tall white-haired man with glasses strode out. Despite his white hair and glasses and obvious intelligence he had a physical presence about him that showed he was not above using his fists. A huge bear of a man trailed after him. "Bullock, I don't care how busy they are. Bomb squad ain't leaving until they tell me what caused that explosion."

"They ain't got no evidence, Commish."

"Bull. You can't level a building and leave no evidence." He stopped in front of Harkness. "You a fed?"

Jack looked at the psychic paper he was holding. "Apparently a CIA man."

"Another one. I've had Commander Stamer sniffing around for a few days as well. What are you here for?"

"Well, I can tell you're busy but…"

"Son, this is Gotham, we're always busy. Bullock, get those two the Bats pulled in into an interview suite and read them their Miranda's."

"What for?"

"You found 'em unconscious on a curb. We just hold 'em here for a few hours until the Bat digs up some dirt on them. We'll nail them for curb crawling and loitering with intent for a start, and anything else I think of while I finish this cigar."

"Intent to what?"

"Intent to being unconscious; do I have to think of everything?" He glared at Harkness. "You still here?"

"Apparently. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, I'm looking for a couple of strangers who might have…" His voice trailed off as two police officers dragged in a man and a woman. He didn't recognise the man but the woman was heart-stoppingly familiar.

Rose.

Looked like she had found someone else to hang around with. But if the Tardis was in town there was a good chance the Doctor was as well. If the Tardis was here he had a chance to get out of this benighted world at this benighted time. Being stuck on Earth without a time machine was a horror for him. Before, time and space were just a button press away, now he was stuck on one planet in one time with nothing to look forward to but time eroding his looks, talent and skill.

"Can I be in on the interview?"

"You just arrived, son. These two have been wrapped up special for us. You ain't even gettin' a coffee till I get you checked out."

Jack pocketed the psychic paper and then pulled it out again. "This letter should clear up any problems."

Gordon pushed his glasses back up his nose and let out a sigh as he read it. "Signed by the Governor himself. Give you full and total co-operation. Just like Stamer had. Bullock, get the Captain a desk, a computer and a coffee. We'll be interviewing them in a couple of minutes."

* * *

"The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat, they…" The Doctor opened one eye and looked around. He was sitting down next to a wooden table. Correction, he was strapped down on a chair next to a wooden table. The air was thick with the acrid smell of cigarette smoke and coffee and ammonium carbonate.

Ammonium carbonate?

Smelling salts.

Had that smell just woken him up? His neck hurt as well, but his Time Lord physiology would soon take care of that. A tall white-haired man with glasses was glaring at him and tapping a pen on the desk to a tune only the man knew.

This was not a good thing to wake up to. His other eye opened in the vain hope the first one was wrong and he was in fact back in the Tardis. It concluded it was not. "Silly question, but when am I?"

"Don't you mean where am I?" asked Gordon.

"I'm in Gotham police station I suspect, but I don't know the time." The Doctor tried to crane his neck around the room to see if he could see a clock. There was a big mirror on one side of the room. They were probably filming him from there for evidence. "Where's Rose?"

"The girl you were with?"

"Yeah."

"Next interview room. Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor. I would shake your hand but…" He shrugged his shoulders as he tried to move his arms.

"Doctor who?"

He gave an enigmatic grin. "Well, I'd love to help you with your enquiries, but as I've just arrived and as far as I am aware being unconscious isn't a crime in any country, planet, or star system, otherwise you would be arresting everybody for sleeping. So can I go?"

"What's this?" Gordon threw the sonic screwdriver on the table in front of the Doctor.

He shrugged his shoulders.

A deep voice behind the mirror said. "It's a sonic screwdriver."

Bullock picked up the device and pressed a button on it. "What does it do, it seems to be…" The chair the sergeant was sitting on fell to pieces and he landed with a heavy thump on the floor. "Jeez." He looked at his chair; all the screws had come out.

"This man is extremely dangerous," said the voice again. "I insist he be incarcerated in Arkham until further notice."

"We ain't a police state yet," said Gordon, glaring at the unseen man behind the mirror. "We can't lock him up without a trial."

The voice took on a deep, almost hypnotic quality. "You will do as I say Gordon. Imprison him in Arkham."

Gordon's eyes glazed over for a few seconds, then he seemed to shake himself awake. "Okay Bullock, take this Doctor to Arkham and throw away the key."


	4. Parties and prisons

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far! All greatly appreciated thanks!

All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Four - Batman – Invasion**

"Hey Rose? Rose? You awake, girl?"

"What? Who?"

"Want some coffee?"

"Err, yeah." Rose wiped her hands over her eyes and then wiped her mouth. She had been drooling in her sleep. Nice! How attractive. She looked up at the man there. He was a handsome dark-haired man with a cheeky grin and a devilish glint in his eye. "Jack? Captain Jack Harkness? What are you doing here? We thought you were…"

"Dead? Not a chance, babe. Dead gorgeous and dead excited to see you! Where's big ears? The docmeister? And who was that guy with you?"

"Woah! Slow down!" She held her head, which seemed to be throbbing. "How did I get here? How did you get here?" She looked around the plain white-walled interview room curiously. Various gouges and bloodstains showed where some interviews had been less than peaceful in the past. "Where is here?"

"You're in Gotham Police Headquarters, you were brought in by the big bad bat. That guy with you, is that the Doc?"

"Doctor? Yes he is."

"What happened to him? Plastic surgeon? Argument with a frying pan?"

"Regeneration."

"Going to be my next guess."

There was a coughing sound behind him. They both looked over at the corner where there was a big scarred policeman standing there with his arms folded. "Is this your interview process, Captain Harkness?"

"Oh yeah. Interview, right. What were you doing on the night of the fourth?"

"Fourth? No idea."

"Me neither, let's ditch this joint and do something fun." He pointed to the police officer. "Hey you, Happy."

"Sergeant Megara."

"Whatever. We're going. I mean I am taking the prisoner out for a walk."

He shook his head. "She's staying here till the commish decides what to do with her."

"Listen, friend." Jack wrapped an arm around the sergeant's shoulders. "We're both men of the world, right?"

"Yeah."

"Just give me five minutes with the prisoner, eh?" He raised his eyebrows roguishly.

"Sure."

"Alone."

"This is against regs, but…"

Jack flashed his smile at him. "Thanks!" He pushed him out the door.

"Okay Rose, we're getting you out of here!"

* * *

"I apologise for disturbing you, sir, I realise you are busy, but the guests will be arriving in ten minutes."

"I know that, Alfred," Batman was driving the car at incredible speeds. He was in an old area of Gotham dating back to the Civil War, but he was driving through the streets like it was the freeway. Windows, buildings and people flashed past in a blur.

"Oracle, this is B?"

"Yep, you got your party togs on yet?"

He scowled. "Any news on the Joker's whereabouts?"

"Nada. Jokey boy seems to have gone to ground. I have had no reports of him yet."

"If anything turns up I want to be informed straight away."

"Hey, I always do. Try not to think of me up here, alone in the tower. No-one to talk to. No-one to dance with."

"I won't." Batman finished the call and, still accelerating, headed back to the mansion.

* * *

The Doctor was pushed roughly out of the interview room and pushed unceremoniously out of a door and into the back of a police car. His handcuffs were pinching his skin and starting to hurt.

"Hang on, where are we going?"

"You're going to Arkham, son," said Bullock. He was a battered travesty of a policeman. He ate too much and smoked too much and was probably one burger away from a heart attack, but he was a good cop.

"What's Arkham?" asked the Doctor. "Is it a restaurant?"

"Nope."

"Leisure centre? You know, a swimming pool with one of those tubes?"

"No."

"Cinema? Am I too early for Rocky VIII? Or too late for Die Hard : With a Zimmer Frame?"

Bullock chuckled. "You're new in town, aren't you, boy?"

The Doctor nodded dumbly as he was squashed into the back seat next to Bullock.

"Arkham is a mental asylum for the criminally insane."

The Doctor looked curious. "Why am I being sent there? I've done nothing wrong! And believe me, I couldn't be saner!"

Bullock chuckled. "Hey, like I care, this is just orders."

* * *

The Batman leapt out of the car seat while the engine was still running. He took the steps four at a time as the engine noise died behind him. He ripped off his uniform and literally ran under the shower. In a little under three minutes he was changed, washed and dressed. He added a dab of his favourite cologne, checked his appearance in the mirror. Damn cowl hair. A quick attack with a comb and he looked fine. He jogged up the stairs towards the clock door to the mansion, checked the spy hole to make sure the coast was clear, then opened it and strolled out.

A coughing sound made him spin around.

"Your cummerbund, sir?"

"Thank you, Alfred," he said, wrapping it round his waist.

"Also sir, your bow tie is a little crooked; allow me."

"Have the guests arrived?"

"Just starting to trickle in now, sir."

"Good." He rolled his eyes at this.

"The senator is here as well, sir. It would be as well to note his daughter is…"

"Still in high school riding ponies, from what I remember?"

"Not quite, sir."

"She must be about twelve? Joy, conversation about Barbie dolls again."

"Twenty-one, sir, and..."

Bruce felt a presence behind him, two foot to his right, about 120 degrees from his left leg, slight of build, probably about five foot six. A twisting kick at knee height would dispose of the threat in…

"Hi Brucey, I haven't seen you in years." An attractive blonde girl showily air-kissed him on both cheeks. She was holding a small dog in one hand that nipped at Bruce's lapels irritably. "I've got to show you Fluffikins, he's simply adorable. As are you! I could just eat you up!"

Just one kick, thought Bruce.

* * *

Jack peered out of the door cautiously, then waved Rose to follow him. He nearly bumped into a police officer.

"Hi! Just, err, moving the prisoner from one place to another."

The officer ignored him, as he was busy with a huge drunk prisoner.

"Come on, Rose."

"How did you get in here?"

"Psychic paper."

"Can we get the Doctor?"

"Let's deal with you first, eh? Where did they take him?"

"I dunno, they didn't give me a guided tour."

Jack put an arm round a passing police officer. "Hey, we're looking for the doc? Big ears, short hair, leather jacket, Northern accent?"

Rose shook her head. "No, he's youngish, dark curly hair, gorgeous blue eyes, wears a suit."

The officer stopped. "Sounds like the perp I saw them loading up into the Nuthouse Taxi."

"What?"

"Arkham Asylum. Who are you people?" He realised he was talking to thin air. He shrugged and carried on walking.

* * *

Bruce Wayne sighed as he stood on the steps leading to his garden. His garden was full of the rich and the famous of Gotham. He could hear the squeals of the children as they enjoyed the bouncy castle. He hated this sort of event. The Joker was still free and here he was enjoying himself.

Well, to be fair, he wasn't really enjoying himself. He was checking the food before the guests came in and he was being talked at at the same time. He sniffed a piece of chicken. It did not smell right. The pâté looked grim and the flans were quite frankly appalling. "Alfred?" Alfred was busy with the guests.

"Sir?"

"What's with the food? Get rid of it before anybody eats it. Didn't you use our normal catering company?"

"Of course, sir. Indulge Cuisine, as we do always."

"We can't serve this; get rid of it. All of it. Something is wrong here."

"Certainly, sir."

"Badly wrong," he muttered under his breath.

He turned back to Mrs Beckhart who was trying to talk to him.

"Don't you agree, Bruce?"

"Errmm, what?" His mind quickly revolved back through the previous conversation. Something about the National Theatre closing down due to lack of funds in Gotham. "Yes, shocking, shocking."

"I know, you are always so generous with the arts."

"Yes." Something had caught his eye. Just a glimpse, close to the bouncy castle.

A glimpse of purple.

"Will you excuse me a moment, Mrs Beckhart. Nature calls."

"Of course, we can carry on our chat…" She looked around. "Oh, he's gone."

Bruce Wayne was a big man, yet he seemed to flit like a ghost between the fir trees between the party and the bouncy castle. There: a purple hat and a glimpse of white skin, he was giggling at the children. He grabbed the man with one big hand and whirled him around to face him.

* * *

Arkham Asylum.

Its very name was synonymous with madness, murder and mayhem. Although more of a prison now than a mere asylum, their staff does try and cure the inmates although they have a lamentably poor record.

The building, originally an old mansion house, has been rebuilt and redesigned many times over the years. Mainly because of several explosive escape attempts. Now it is a big dark brooding building, squatting over the landscape like a tarantula waiting to pounce on its prey.

They had taken away his sonic screwdriver. The Doctor was not happy with this. With that with him he would have been out of these handcuffs and over the hills and far away.

The car screeched to a halt in front of the big steel gates. With a clanking sound the gates opened and the car carried on slowly up to the building.

"Nice place," said the Doctor.

Bullock grunted in response.

"If you could let me out here, I'm sure I could find my own way home."

Bullock chuckled at this. "I like you, boy, we should go out for a drink when you get out."

"That would be nice," said the Doctor as he clambered out of the car and walked up to the main door of the asylum.

"In about thirty years."

He stopped, his chains clanking as he did. "What? I haven't even had a trial!"

Bullock's eyes seemed to glaze over. "Commander Stamer ordered it. We don't need a trial anymore."

"Who is this Stamer? You can't do this!" His protestations were drowned out as the door slammed shut behind him.

It sounded like the gates of hell.

* * *

They both walked out of the police station, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Curiously, when you are in a building or trying to get out of a building most people assume you are meant to be there and ignore you. Normally it's only getting in that can cause the problem.

"Well done, Rose," said Jack, giving her a huge bear hug. "You're looking just as hot as ever!"

"Get off me, you big lummox! We've got to get the Doctor! Where about is Arkham anyway?"

"Let's get a cab." He raised an arm. In seconds a yellow cab turned up.

Rose started talking. "Take us to Arkham."

"Woah, wait a sec," said Jack. "Let's get to the Tardis!"

"What? We need to get to the Doctor!"

Jack raised his eyebrows in an expression of innocence. "I know, best way, surely."

"Well, it's just not that accurate."

"Hey, it's me! Where did you park it? Anyway I'm a bloke, of course I'm accurate!"

"Toilet training?"

"I told you before, that's a 51st century thing. Anyway where's the Tardis?"

"Corner of thirty and fourth," Rose said to the taxi driver who was waiting patiently.

* * *

Water dripped down the sides of the walls. The lights flickered on and off and all through the building could be heard screams, wails and crying.

Arkham Asylum.

The Doctor looked at the place with his keen eyes. He had been in worse places. The dark ages in England were pretty rotten and the less said about their toilet facilities the better.

The governor, Jeremiah Arkham himself, came forward to greet the new inmate.

"Ah hello!" said the Doctor, trying but failing to shake Arkham's hand. "There seems to have been a terrible mistake!"

"Of course, sir, and you are?"

"The Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"We've been through that. You see I'm a time traveller and I…"

"Of course you are, sir. We've got a nice cell waiting for you. Are you from the future?"

"Sort of. Or is it the past? This time travel makes life very complicated."

"Save it for the nurse, please, Doctor." Arkham made a small gesture to two huge nurses, both in body armour and with taser sticks, to take one arm each of the Doctor.

"I'm sure we can talk this through sensibly!" he said as he was carried away.

* * *

Bruce glared at the man he had in his hands. Beneath the white makeup and the huge purple floppy hat a pair of scared eyes stared at him.

"Mr Wayne?"

"Sorry, just making sure the kids are enjoying themselves."

"Yes, we're having a game of pass the parcel. Do you want to join in?"

Half a dozen toddlers started jumping up and down. "Yayy! Uncle Bruce! Uncle Brucey!"

Bruce backed away, shaking his hands. "No thanks. Just doing the social rounds."

"Oh come on," the clown pushed the parcel into his hands. The music stopped and Bruce sighed.

It was crudely wrapped up in orange wrapping paper. With a very fake smile he tore open the paper. There was another layer of paper underneath. This was just plain white with a purple clown's face drawn crudely in felt tip pen on it. The parcel started to heat up and he could feel it begin to vibrate like it was alive.

"GET DOWN!" he roared and threw it into the empty bouncy castle. It exploded with a crumping sound and the ground seemed to shudder. The castle absorbed the shrapnel and flame of the bomb.

The boom seemed to echo and re-echo around the grounds and the local foothills. Seconds later the screaming started as the children ran in all directions. The bouncy castle, now full of holes, deflated with a sad hissing sound.

Bruce turned around to see a figure from his nightmares pointing a huge purple magnum with hearts and roses delicately painted onto it at his head. "Mr Wayne, you're having a party and didn't invite me!" His name label said "Indulge Cuisine."

"You got here with the catering company?"

"Yes, the food is not at its best. I knew I should have added more garlic and less staff. Now you and your guests start with the moolah or I start offing kids!"

* * *

The guards pushed the Doctor into a room. He turned around and patted the guard on the shoulder. "Thank you. Most hospitable. I was wondering what time lunch is?"

"Lunch?"

"Or tea? Or even a coffee? I had a very nice White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino earlier. Could I order one please? Easy on the chocolate this time. I could barely taste the coffee before. Also one of those chocolate cookies would be good as well. You know one of the great things about Earth is the chocolate. They can't get the beans right elsewhere. Did you know in the Senestri cluster the beans eat the people? I don't know what they taste like, I've never got round to asking them."

"Just get in there!" The guard slammed the door and it closed with a reassuring clicking sound of several dead bolts shutting.

If he still had his sonic screwdriver he would have gone already. His keen eyes took in his cell. A fairly small room. White painted walls. A bed in a corner and a toilet and a sink in the other. An air vent half way up one wall.

What else is here?

A few games to help pass the time and straighten the mind, according to the sign. Mmmm. Tiddlywinks. Monopoly. Mouse trap. Don't Miss the Boat!

And these games are meant to help make you sane?

Let's take a look at the Monopoly. The Doctor got the wheelbarrow piece out of the game and looked at the air vent, and smiled.

* * *

Jeremiah Arkham walked back to his office. It was behind four levels of security and several feet of concrete. The security had been newly installed. He put on the coffee percolator and sat down with a sigh at his desk.

"Report!" Half of his office was in blackness and a figure was sitting in the gloom. A spotlight kept him from seeing who it was. Ever since the stranger had moved in security had been absolutely perfect. Apart from the Joker escaping. But had he escaped or had he been helped? His mind was hazy on the facts as it was always hazy about these meetings.

"This Doctor you requested has been brought here, Commander Stamer. I have put him in the minimal security cells away from the roundhouse where we keep Two-face and Riddler and…"

"No. He must be in maximum security."

"But he has done nothing wrong. It will be difficult to…" As always whenever he tried to argue against the voice his headache started. Getting more and more painful like something was trying to drill out of his skull. "No, you're right. Of course you're right. I'll get him moved now. I have another question?"

Silence.

"The warders are saying that they are not allowed into B block. Not the criminals, but where we treat such conditions as bi-polar and schizophrenia."

Silence.

"They have not had any food for over a week now and no-body has seen them."

"That does not concern you. Just get the Doctor moved." The voice was silent a moment as he thought, then he chuckled. "On second thought, move all staff out of that block; I will move in my own security temporarily."

* * *

Dusty.

Dusty and horrible were the thoughts that went through the Doctor's head as he crawled down the air conditioning duct. You would have thought that anyone who was really interested in keeping a clean and tidy asylum would at the very least vacuum the air conditioning once in a while.

Boom!

He looked behind him and could see a flash of red light illuminate the cell where he had just been. A wave of heat passed over him and he could feel the force of the explosion try and push him along. He shrugged; best keep going, certainly not going back. He did start crawling faster though.

He struggled not to sneeze as the dust went up his nose.

And security, thought the Doctor. Here we have an asylum full of rather nasty characters and they have an air conditioning vent that can be opened with a monopoly piece.

There was another vent in front of him. No screws on this side to undo but he should be able to just push it out. He peered through cautiously. He couldn't see a thing; it was too dark.

Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained, and he certainly wasn't going back. He gave the vent a push.

Nothing.

He tried again and it started groaning. He then realised it was him that was groaning and resolved to keep quiet.

Third time lucky. He gave it an almighty heave and it fell with a clang onto the ground beneath. The Doctor followed it, falling with an awkward thump onto the ground. He straightened his back out with a few horrible clicking sounds and squinted at the darkness.

He could hear a horrible glooping sound and the hiss of various fluids going down tubes.

He reached in his pocket for the cigarette lighter he always kept there. Curiously, they had let him keep it. With a click and a hiss the tiny flame of the lighter illuminated where he was.

There were about a dozen oval capsules made of some sort of clear plastic material filled with a green liquid. Dozens of tubes fed in a variety of nutrients. He could see movement inside of them.

Not wanting to look but unable to contain his curiosity, he peered in. He chuckled when he saw an eye look at him from the green gunge.

He tapped on the capsule. "Not so scary out of your shell, are you?"

Then he leapt back as a recognisably human face peered at him out of the liquid. The face was pale and pallid and the eyes were turning into green slits.

"Eessh!"

The mouth opened and a forked tongue flicked out against the glass. A hand pushed weakly against the glass. The Doctor could see the fingers were fusing together into a claw shape. Bubbles glooped out the creature's mouth as it tried to cry out to the Doctor.

"Sorry, I can't help." the Doctor shrugged trying not to look at the pleading eyes.

They're trying to breed a new race of Daleks here, the best thing I can do for them is shut this facility down.

The door behind him hissed open and a white and gold Dalek glided in.

"EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR!"

An energy blast zipped overhead and blew up one of the containers with a gestating Dalek in it. The floor was covered in a gooey mixture and the creature in it floundered on the floor, its deformed claws trying to grab the Doctor as he scrabbled round another container to hide from the Dalek.

He looked in his pocket. The only thing there was the monopoly piece. Escaping a locked cell with a monopoly piece is easy, how to escape a Dalek with one is slightly trickier.

* * *

The Joker and his gang had gathered together all the guests of the party in one place. The air was full of the noise of crying and whimpering. One of the gang fired a machine gun above their heads to get their attention.

"Hi, I'm the Joker and I will be your evil villain for today. I'll try not to keep you long; I've got a busy day. First of all we are collecting all watches, mobile electronics and cash. If you could pass them to the front please?"

Bruce Wayne glowered at the Joker as he carefully removed his gold Rolex watch. If he were outside and in costume the Joker would be curled up on the ground trying to breathe. It rather went against his Bruce Wayne mask to attack people.

"Nice watch, Brucey," said the Joker. He waved it under his ear to listen to the tick and then put it onto his thin white wrist.

"Where are the security guards?"

"Oh don't worry, they've got a smile on their faces!"

Five of the Joker's men, scarred burly thugs, were also there, waving guns in a threatening way and taking all jewellery and phones off the shocked guests.

The Joker's gun waved at the crowd. They started whimpering and crying so he started waving his gun like he was conducting. "Much as I like to rob the rich and famous I'm also here for the Senator's daughter! Julianne Lee, come on down, this is your lucky day! Well it's mine, I don't know about yours!"

The crowd of guests were silent and a space formed around the poor girl.

"Come on, Julianne babe." The Joker shook his head like a marionette. "Come on down and talk to Unkee Jokey. I hear you have a funny story for us?"

"Don't take her, take me," said Bruce, standing in front of the Joker's gun.

"Love to, Bub, but you're not as pretty as her, and your Daddy can't pass laws like hers can." He gave a wicked grin to Bruce. "How is your Daddy by the way?"

He tried to push Bruce away and was momentarily surprised at the iron in his stance. Bruce stepped back. Julianne, whimpering in fear, was led away by two of the Joker's men.

Bruce subtly pressed the communicator button in his cuffs.

"Yep?"

He heard the voice in his hidden ear communicator. He whispered quietly so as not be heard. "The Joker is here."

"What? How?"

"I don't know. He's got us under armed guard. Get Robin, Batgirl, anyone. Just get them here now."

"I'm on it."

"Well thanks for the stuff and the hostage, Brucey, sorry we can't stay for a soiree." The Joker pointed the gun lazily at Bruce's knees. "You've given me such a lovely watch, I'm tempted to give you a busted knee." He seemed to mull it over. The guests around him started whimpering at this. How to disarm him and make it seem like an accident? "No, maybe next time! Ciao for now!" The Joker and his men ran into the woods next to the destroyed bouncy castle.

In the distance he could hear sirens and could see two police helicopters, seemingly balanced on their spotlights, approaching fast.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," Bruce said to the startled guests next to him. "I'll just go and get help!" He ran into the house, cleverly avoiding all the chaos of people running back and forth.

Damn it! His clock entrance to the cave was surrounded by people. He needed another way in.

Slamming the door to his study, which locked with a satisfying clunk behind him, he sat down on the huge burgundy leather swivel chair.

He pressed his communicator button again. "Oracle, they've gone already. Not hanging around. The Joker's got the senator's daughter and has my watch."

"Oh."

"It's got GPS in it, start tracking it; I'm already going after him."

"What about the guests?"

"Tell Alfred that I'm otherwise indisposed."

"On it."

Bruce pressed a hidden button under the desk and the chair seemed to fold inside out revealing the menacing black garb of the Batman. He started putting on the costume as he carried on talking.

"This doesn't make sense."

"What," said Bruce as he lowered the cowl on his head. "What?" His voice deepened as he assumed the persona of the Batman.

"I've got the signal all over America!"

"Recalibrate it," said Batman. "I want you to guide me to the signal in the grounds here." He opened the window and leapt into the crown of a nearby oak tree. In seconds he had leapt to the next tree and so on along the line, above the milling party guests and the police cars with armed swat teams that were just turning up. All were oblivious to the Batman above them. When he was clear of the crowds he leapt to the ground, doing a forward roll as he landed. He was then up and running.

He knew these woods well and up ahead he could hear the Joker and his men crashing through the undergrowth.

Almost as if they wanted to be followed.

Something twanged in the dark wood and a steel cable whipped at neck height towards him, slicing saplings and trees like they were made of butter. The Batman ducked it, just, the cable slicing part of his cloak as it passed.

At the same time a machine gun opened up at him, the bullets chewing up the woodland around him.

Scout model TX8 M62 assault with a reflex suppressor. Fifty round cartridge. The Batman twisted round the tree, the gunner trying to follow him. At the rate he is pumping them out he will be out of bullets in five seconds.

He ducked, the bullets cutting a line of holes in his cloak and one of them just slicing into his upper arm opening up a line of blood.

Four seconds. He twisted behind a rock. Splinters of rock spraying out just inches from his face.

Three seconds.

Two seconds.

Once second.

If he's very good he can change clips in three seconds.

One second.

He stood up and saw the gunman frantically changing cartridges. The Batman threw one of his weighted batarangs.

Two seconds.

His other hand threw another batarang.

Three seconds, just before the gunman started firing again the first batarang knocked the gun from his hand, the second knocked him out. Before the gunman had hit the ground Batman was already pounding past him towards the Joker.

The wood was darker here. Ancient oaks lined the path. The air was full of the sounds of bird song and rather incongruously the cackle of the Joker and the whimper of his poor hostage.

He would not let him take another hostage.

Not this day.

Up ahead he could hear an eerie groaning sound and a search light seemed to revolve through the wood. He could see a blue police box appear ahead of him. The door opened and the Joker, his hostage and four of his gang ran impossibly into it.

"Sayonara Batty, catch you another time!" The Joker waved his purple hat at the Batman and gave an extravagant bow. He then slammed the door behind him and the police box disappeared with the same eerie groaning sound.


	5. Too many Jokers

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks!

Apologies for being so slack with the updates, I hope people are still reading!

All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Five - Batman – Invasion**

The Batman examined the ground methodically where the Tardis had just left. There was a square indentation in the ground. The ferns that the police box had crushed were just struggling to straighten themselves. He took a cutting of the fern. He would examine it for any residue of what had just happened. There had to be a clue.

Had to.

The gunman he had knocked out earlier was woozily getting to his feet.

He would talk.

He could hear the screams and cries of a party interrupted behind him. He grabbed the hapless gunman and knocked him out with a squeeze of his carotid artery.

With a casual sweep of his arm he threw the 220 lb man over his shoulder and started running with huge loping strides back to the party.

"Robin, this is Batman," he said to his communicator. "Get here now; I've got a party to finish."

The shadow of Alfred standing at the window loomed large over the garden. Barely breaking stride he clambered up the side of the building one handed. He dumped the thug at Alfred's feet.

"Get him to the cave Alfred," he said, stripping off his cape and cowl. "I need to be seen at the party."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. The thug must have weighed at least twice as much as Alfred. Bruce struggled at his bow tie irritably. With a well-practiced air Alfred tied it up perfectly for him whilst packing up his cape and cowl under the desk.

There was a rapping at the door. "Brucey! Brucey!"

"Mrs Beckhart," said Alfred, his voice sounding slightly strained.

"Just a minute Mrs Beckhart," said Bruce. He mouthed at Alfred. "Get rid of the thug!"

The door opened and Alfred casually threw a coat over the unconscious man. Mrs Beckhart, a large rotund woman, bustled in. "There you are, Bruce; what is going on? All these explosions, gun fights, and that Catman about the place."

"Batman."

"That's the one, where did he go anyway?"

Alfred suddenly realised that the Batman's mask was poking out from under the desk and he casually kicked it back under.

"Come, Mrs Beckhart, let's join the guests," said Bruce expertly hiding the thug in the corner.

"Ooohhh!" The thug groaned and started moving.

"What was that?" asked Mrs Beckhart, turning around and peering into the room.

"Nothing, Mrs Beckhart," said Alfred, "it's just the wind under the eaves."

"Sounds like the wind through a man, my husband used to make a noise like that, God rest his soul," she said. "Who have you got in here with you?"

Alfred silently cursed her hearing but gave her a smile like it was cast in stone. "It might be me, Madam. Apologies. At my age the digestive system isn't as it once was."

Bruce expertly guided her out just as the coat fell off the thug like a landslide. Alfred closed the door quietly and then reached into his pocket and brought out a small hypodermic. It contained concentrated Diphenhydramine. A sleeping drug. It should knock him out for a few hours. When he woke up he would feel like death and be in his own personal hell.

* * *

The television flickered its news commentary into an empty room. A newspaper fluttered on the bare floorboards next to the half open window.

"So who can get around America in one night? The answer used to be Santa Claus, that big jolly fatman himself," said the cheerful newscaster. "Not anymore; the Joker, the jolly purple murderer himself, can now join the hall of fame. We're going over live to his psychologist in Arkham Asylum."

The picture flicked over to an empty room. The scroll bar at the bottom of the screen said, "Arkham Asylum – Larrie Kidkill – Eminent Psychologist."

The picture flicked back to the newsroom. "Well, Larrie's not with us today, although his doctor did say he would be back on his feet in no time, that is if they could find his feet. We might have part of Larrie on the programme later tonight. In fact we've had part of him posted to us. We'll get back to you on this one."

The sound of the television was drowned out by the sound of the Tardis landing in the corner. The floorboards creaked and groaned at the unexpected weight of it. "Well, that was positively smashing fun, literally." The Joker minced out of the Tardis, swaying his hips in time to the fading sound of the Tardis' engines. "Bring those babes out, bring 'em out," shouted the Joker into the Tardis. Two of his gang, Yonnie and Bartlett, were both leading a seemingly endless stream of children and teenagers out of the Tardis. Bartlett was the youngest of the Joker's men at 26 and he looked every inch the fresh faced college boy, which he every inch was not. Yonnie looked like a petty thug. His face, scarred and thick set, made him look like a criminal, which he was, but an exceptionally good one. Any criminal in Gotham who could last more than a year without being on the wrong end of one of Batman's gloves was good.

Part of the house had already been prepared for their important guests, the sons and daughters of all of the Senators and the President himself. The windows had been reinforced, bunk beds had been made, a girls' dormitory and a boys' dormitory, and the food had been specially made and tailored for each individual taken. Four of the children had nut allergies and three were lactose intolerant. The Joker had gone to a lot of trouble to get these children and he did not want to lose one through bad cooking.

The Joker pointed a purple gloved finger at Bartlett. "Get me the President on the line!" He chuckled. "I've always wanted to say that!"

Bartlett professionally set up a laptop and webcam pointing at the Clown Prince of Crime.

"President's office." The voice of a young woman came over the laptop.

"This is the Joker."

"He's not taking any calls at the moment. Do you want to leave a message?"

"I think he'll talk to me considering I've got his little diddums here!"

"I'll…" She was cut off as the President started shouting down the phone. "Listen, you purple freak, you give me my daughter back or I'll…"

"I see no reason why the normal courtesies of life should not be maintained. It would be pleasant if we at least begin our relationship in a more civilised way."

"Civilised?" The President was momentarily at a loss for words and turned a strange red colour as he coughed and spluttered. "The Joker is world renowned as a petty thief, a mass murdering thug masquerading under the guise of a clown."

"And all that without your speech writers? Don't you want to hear how you can all get your children back? And believe me all the Senators will vote for this one!"

-

* * *

The Doctor grimaced as the flood of Dalek jelly started licking as his feet. The mutated Dalek creature on the floor was trying vainly to snap at his trainers. He ignored it. He was far more interested in the one in the doorway in the polycarbide casing.

"Exterminate the Doctor!"

"Don't they learn anything new?" he muttered to himself as he threw himself back into the air conditioning vent.

The last guest had left just ten minutes before. Apologies for the inconvenience. Sorry to have ruined your night. I'm sure the police will get her back. All the old platitudes that said so much and meant so little.

The police wouldn't get her back.

The Batman would.

The solitary piece of fern that the Batman had recovered from the site where the blue box had been was in an airtight glass box surrounded on all sides by a complex of scanners and metal appendages.

It had been tested for over two hundred types of radiation, energy and even magical imprints.

Nothing.

The fern was looking pretty forlorn and bedraggled as yet another leaf was torn off it to be incinerated and the remnants analysed at the molecular level.

Not as forlorn as the thug who woke up hanging upside down from the roof of the cave. Several bats flew past, missing him by a hair's breadth.

"Sleeping beauty awakes," said Robin; the boy was hanging upside down next to the thug. He had his arms crossed and he somehow had his feet pressed into the rocky roof to maintain his precarious balance. "You got some explaining to do, buddy. What are you and the Joker doing? Where is the Joker?"

"What? Where? Who?"

"We ask the questions, buddy. And believe me," he said, grinning a wolfish smile, "I'm the nice one - you don't want the Batman to start asking." Below on the cave floor the Batman stopped his examination of the computer consoles and gave him a grim look, his eyes seemingly boring into his very soul.

"Will you let me down if I tell you?"

"We'll let you down alright," said Robin, letting go with his feet and landing acrobatically on the ground. "Now what do you know?"

"Nothing really."

Batman growled.

"Well, when I say nothing, I mean I know the Joker."

"Where did he go?"

The thug tried to smile, difficult when upside down. "You're asking the wrong question."

"Listen friend, get smart with me and we'll leave you here for the next ten years with just the bats for company."

"No, I just mean you should ask 'When did he go?'"

Robin glared at him. "You getting clever with me?"

"This guy turned up with a time machine; I never seen the guy before. He said to get the Senators kids. I dunno why."

"Where's the Joker?"

"He'll skin me to death if I tell you!"

"We'll skin you alive if you don't," said Robin.

"Okay, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. He's got a hangout on the East side, corner of thirty and fourth, an abandoned warehouse. Can you let me down now?"

Giving a wicked smile Robin made to cut the rope that was attaching him to the cave roof.

"Not that way!"

* * *

The Batman growled at the screen that showed the huge visage of the Oracle as he clipped his body armour and utility belt on. On the turntable the car was going through over thirty automated checks including refuelling and refilling and checking all the various gadgets it contained. A thrumming sound reverberated through the cave as the engines started. The thug the Batman had captured was already unconscious and in the back seat. The Batman would leave him outside a police station shortly.

"You want to tell me how the Joker got this blue box and got himself round America in one night?" He clipped his Kevlar tunic into place and checked his belt again religiously to make sure his various batarangs and other weapons were to hand and not snagged against anything. In a firefight one mistake could cost him his life, or worse, someone else's.

"It's a time machine," said the Oracle calmly.

"The Joker stages a kidnap at my own home and you say he has a time machine? How? Time travel is impossible. I know there has been work by Tipler, Stockum and Lanczos but no one has come up with a viable theory. Besides, where are the time tourists?"

The Oracle shrugged. She saw the Batman glare at her and for once was thankful there was several miles between her and him. "Maybe it's a dull part of history? They are all watching the dinosaurs? I don't know!"

"Well, work on it," he snarled as he leapt into the Batmobile. By the time she had said okay, the Batmobile was already roaring up the cave.

* * *

The taxi glided to a halt outside the corner of thirty and fourth. The Tardis was sitting there. Although it was just a blue box it seemed to be sulking. There was a good reason for this; it was attracting rather a lot of attention and it did like to stay in the shadows. Police tape surrounded it and blue lights reflected off its surface. A Tardis had been used to kidnap all the children of the Senators and here it was at the corner of thirty and fourth.

"Yeah, just let us out here, can you?" said Jack to the driver.

"That's twenty."

Without looking at the driver he handed him twenty cents as he left the cab.

"Hey!"

"Oh sorry, the tip," said Jack and gave him another ten cents.

"C'mon Rose, let's see what's happening."

Just beyond the police line was a crowd of Gothamites taking pictures of the Tardis with their cell phones. A couple of police officers were having a quiet cigarette and trying to keep out of the way.

"What are we going to do?"

"Just follow me, Rose," said Jack. He marched up to the police tape and tried to walk ostentatiously through it. The tape snapped but part of it wrapped around his foot. With an irritable shake he got rid of it.

"Step back please, sir, this is the scene of a crime," said a police officer to Jack.

Jack sighed and waved his psychic paper in front of him. The officer grabbed his hand to stop the waving and read it out loud. "This says you have blue eyes, dark brown hair and like sunsets in Rio?"

"He means this paper," said Rose, glaring at Jack.

"Sorry ma'am," said the officer, coming to attention. "I didn't realise you were a forensic anthropologist. You sure don't look like one."

"Well, now you do," said Rose.

"Carry on, ma'am," said the officer, grinning.

"I'll take my assistant with me; come along, Jack. Stop drooling, it doesn't become you."

"We'll take a look at the Tar… police box over there."

"It's not the only police box I want to…"

"Just follow me, Jack."

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

"Yes?"

"We haven't found a body, ma'am."

"Well?"

"You're a forensic anthropologist, ma'am?"

"Yep."

"That deals with the recovery and identification of skeletonised human remains, ma'am."

"Just let the lady get on with her work," said Jack, gently pushing the officer out of the way.

"There might be one in that blue box," said Rose.

"I was told to wait for the FBI, ma'am. I think you should wait as well."

"Where can we go?" said Jack, spreading his arms out. "You keep the locals out; we'll be over there, investigating."

A keen Gothamite tried to take a picture of the police officer. He growled at this. "Gotham Gazette, sir?"

The police officer's grimace turned into a smile. "Not from there; this is my best side, get the old sweep of the nose in."

"He's vainer than you," said Rose to Jack as they crept past. She fumbled in her pocket for the Tardis key and they both sneaked in. When the door shut the sound of Gotham was immediately cut off and they were back in the soft light of the Tardis.

"Where did they say they took the Doc?"

"Arkham Asylum."

"You really think you can get this to work? The Doctor can't get this thing to work sometimes."

"Hey, no offence to the Doc, but I'm a 50th century guy."

"I thought these controls are isomorphic?" said Rose. "Whatever that means."

"It means only the Doc can use it, but the Tardis likes me, doncha babe?" The Tardis seemed to purr under his hands. "Let's get the doc!"

* * *

Across town from the Joker was another Joker. This Joker had a pack of cards in one hand. He was casually flipping them into a hat at the other side of the room. A small TV in the corner flickered out the news.

"The Joker has captured the family of all the Senators and the President himself. In one night."

"You know what I hate about this story?" said the Joker to Harlequin - his girlfriend, an attractive shapely girl busy applying her makeup in a mirror precariously balanced on an old chair.

"What, puddin'?"

"I get blamed for something I haven't done and it sounded like a real party of a night as well."

The house rumbled and shook as a Tardis appeared in the corner.

"What is that?"

"Party poopers," said the Joker. Without seeming to move a muscle a gun, a silver gun, appeared in one gloved hand.

A door opened in the Tardis and a tall man strode out.

* * *

The Batman knew Gotham like no one before or since. He knew the road surface. He knew the way the traffic ebbed and flowed during the day. The way the lights flickered on dark nights, but most of all, he knew his car.

He accelerated into a corner barely missing side swiping an oncoming coach. He treated red lights the same way he treated green lights, only faster.

"Gordon," he said.

There was a ringing sound echoing through the car, then a, "Yeah?"

"The Joker is on the East side, corner of thirty and fourth, in an abandoned warehouse. I want your men to surround the building, make sure no-one escapes. I'm going in after him. Wait for me before you go in."

"How did you…" Batman cut him off in mid sentence. Gordon should get there first. Their police precinct was just two blocks from the Joker while he had two miles of traffic and Gotham to negotiate.

* * *

The Doctor crawled along the narrow air conditioning duct, coughing and spluttering with the dust. This was no place for a Time Lord to be!

Ow!

He sucked his fingers irritably and looked in shock at the metal beneath; it was starting to glow red. The Daleks must be trying to cut into it. His jacket started smouldering at the hem, filling the air with a bluish haze.

Hissing with pain and annoyance he scuttled through the duct and didn't see the vent in front of him, which he fell through with a painful thud. In front of him was the familiar silhouette of a Dalek.

* * *

The Tardis was making a strange groaning sound and wisps of smoke were curling from beneath the buttons.

"What the hell is that noise?" said Jack. His hands expertly flickered over the buttons. Reams of data flashed over the screen beneath his fingers. "Uh oh."

"What do you mean uh oh?"

"I mean uh oh, sorry babe, I don't have a dictionary. What part of uh oh don't you understand?"

"What does it mean?"

"Mmmmm," Jack rubbed one hand over his chin. The Tardis started making a strange whining sound. "Oh dear."

"What?"

There was a whining sound and in the corner of the room a Tardis appeared. "Frxiajldjfla!" said Jack fluently. "That's Venusian by the way."

"What's that?"

"That is…" said Jack, walking over to the door of the Tardis. He gently pushed it whilst looking behind him at the Tardis in the corner of the room. The Tardis door opened slightly and a hand could be seen. He wiggled an index finger; the hand in the Tardis in the corner also wiggled a finger. He slammed the door shut and the Tardis door behind him slammed shut as well. "Us!"

"You mean we materialised inside the Tardis! How is that possible! I thought you said you knew what you were doing?"

"I'm not a Gallifreyan! This thing is antiquated! It should have safeguards to stop this!"

"This can't be right," Rose opened the door and ran through it, straight back into the console room. "This is wrong." She ran through the open door again straight back into the console room.

"Had enough?"

"We can't be in two places at the same time in the same place?"

"Explain that to the Tardis, can you? We got a problem: while a TARDIS can materialise inside another, if both TARDISes occupy exactly the same space, a Time Ram will occur, resulting in total annihilation."

"So we're in trouble then."

"I think we are in a dimensionally recursive loop, with our own Tardis appearing inside our own console room. This is impossible."

"Well, it's not," said Rose; she shrugged her shoulders. "Obviously?"

"If we materialise out, we suffer mad."

"Mad?"

"MAD! M - A – D! Mutual Assured Destruction. We've been trapped. Someone must have beamed artron energy at us at the exact time we dematerialised. If we leave we will destabilise the Tardis, creating a Time Ram."

"And if we stay?"

"We stay here for ever," Jack gave a grin. "Got a pack of cards, or can you think of a more fun way to spend out our years?"

* * *

The Dalek in front of the Doctor felt a curious thrill of fear as it detected the Doctor in front of it. Dalek history, imprinted into its very DNA, was tainted by the curse of the Doctor or _Ka Faraq Gatri_ (the enemy of the Daleks). It immediately sealed its polycarbide armour, switching on its internal air supply, boosted power to its shields and powered up its main weapon. This was all done in 2.37 nanoseconds. The scan of the Doctor revealed no weapons or shields. Unfortunately the secondary precautionary scan it carried out 1.34 nano seconds later revealed no Doctor. The weapon had already fired and blew a hole in the wall, covering the gleaming Dalek with a layer of brickdust.

* * *

"So you say you're a Time Lord?" asked the Joker, his hand still waving his gun in the stranger's direction.

The man raised an eyebrow at this, his dark eyes seemingly trying to bore into the Joker's skull. The Joker was too wily and strong-willed to allow himself to stare into those eyes though. "Yes, and I need your help."

"But according to the news I've already kidnapped all the Senators kiddywinks?"

"Yes."

"So I have already said yes then?"

"Probably, time travel is very complicated."

"What did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't."

There was silence.

"So what is your name then, beardy?"

"The Gotham police refer to me as Commander Stamer, but I am normally referred to as the Master."

"Cute. Love the face furniture by the way. I could never grow a beard myself. So this is your time machine then?"

"Yes."

"Isn't it a bit crowded in there? My mother told me never to take a lift with a stranger."

"No, she didn't, puddin'."

"Okay, but she did say to make sure the car was at least new."

"No."

"Two years old."

"Sorry, puddin'."

"Five years old."

She shook her head sorrowfully.

"Okay, so she pushed me into the first available dumpster she could find; let's change the subject. Kinda cramped in there in there, isn't it Mister Master?" He raised his eyebrows coquettishly at him. "You tryin' to get your wicked way with white face here?"

"Follow me and you can rule this planet in whatever sick way you see fit."

"Sorry, my mother told me never to trust anyone with a beard," he grinned. "Sadly, that meant I couldn't trust her either. Now why don't I just put a bullet through that face fungus of yours?"

Blue lights started flickering through the window.

"Uh oh. Puddin' I think you should look out the window."

Thin red lights pierced the night and moved playfully over the wall, one of them found the Joker and suddenly they all concentrated on him. The Joker ducked down with a high pitched squeal as the wall behind him erupted in bullet fire.

Rather late a voice boomed out round the building. "Armed police! Joker, leave with your arms up."

A dark shadow loomed over the window.

Batman hit the window hard, breaking through it easily. He immediately threw his arms wide, allowing his cape and air resistance to slow him down enough so he wouldn't be injured in landing.

Damn Gordon for starting too early and giving the Joker a few seconds grace. He saw the Joker standing in the corner pointing a silver gun in his direction. His look of shock gives him a second to check out the room. Harley quivering in the corner. She's like a cat though, she can lash out when cornered. That strange blue box in the corner and a man he had not seen before strolling nonchalantly towards the blue box.

The man was tall, aristocratic and slim. No problem unless armed. First take out the Joker. He flicked his wrist and sent out a weighted batarang towards the Joker's right hand.

"Ouch," said the Joker, licking his wrist where the gun had been. A gun slipped out of the Joker's capacious sleeve into his left hand. "Don't worry, Batsy, I'm ambi-doo-dah now! I've had a lot of time to practice in Arkham."

A skylight burst above the Joker as a member of a police swat team fast-roped down. Harley threw a teddy bear at the man who dropped his gun in shock as he caught it.

"Hello, I'm Mr Bear, what's your name?" The bear said in sing song voice. "You're quiet? Don't worry you'll soon be making a bang!"

The Batman grabbed the bear from the witless policeman's hand and made to throw it.

Damn it! More police were rappelling in from the skylights and still more were lowering themselves into the window. He kicked open a door, dust and splinters bursting from the hinges, and threw it in where it exploded harmlessly in a welter of fur, stuffing and lethal metallic splinters. The smell of carbide hung heavy in the air as the sound of the Tardis dematerialising started again.

Late again.

This was getting to be a nasty habit.


	6. A temporal escape

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Six - Batman – Invasion**

Jack's smile was starting to fade as he looked at the console beneath his fingers. Reams of data flashed over the screen.

"Okay, open the door a little again, Rose." She opened the Tardis door. "Woah. Stop! Stop! Okay, that's not good." He was looking through the doors of the Tardis to another Tardis and so on ad infinitum. The effect was like standing between two mirrors. As Rose moved the door slightly the ripple effect could be seen through the Tardis, only the ripple was not smooth. It seemed to speed up and then slow down in the distance. As they looked, gaps appeared in the line of Tardises as they winked out of existence. "Not good! Not good!"

"What?"

"Temporal displacement."

"For those of us that don't speak time travel?"

"The Tardis is connected to the Doc, right?"

"Okay."

"The Doc ain't here, right?"

"With you so far."

"It wants to return to the same time as the Doc."

"That's good?"

"Have you been payin' attention? If we dematerialise we'll die, if we stay we'll die, just faster. Okay, we'll be split into our component particles, atomised, cast into the time fields and then we'll die, but the end result is the same. We've got to stop the drift, dematerialise and get back to Earth."

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to ask me to do something I don't want to do?"

He smiled at her.

* * *

Unable to take the stairs or the air conditioning, the Doctor had taken a cupboard.

He was perched in a stationery cupboard hardly daring to breathe as he heard his foe trundle past. He slowed his breathing and heart rate down to avoid detection and waited. He was squashed up against post-it notes, stacks of pens and old printer cartridges. A couple of old laptops fell against his leg and he pushed them back onto the shelf, trying not to make a noise.

He felt a twinge in his hearts.

His Tardis was in trouble and was calling to him. Well, it would have to wait; it could not be in more trouble than him.

He could not go back but he had to get out of here. Was the Dalek waiting outside the door? Hardly believing its luck that its enemy was trapped and caught like a fly in its web?

Cautiously he opened the door and peered out. Nothing. It would not take them long to realise he was on this level somewhere. He scuttled cautiously out of the cupboard and looked for a handy escape.

He saw an elevator, ran over to it and jabbed the button to call it. A clanking sound several floors beneath him told him the lift was coming. The shadow of a Dalek appeared on the wall behind him as it trundled up the corridor, still not in sight. You cannot speed up an elevator by keeping pressing the button, but this was what the Doctor tried to do.

The elevator door opened and the Doctor rolled in as his enemy rolled into sight behind him.

"Exterminate!"

The Doctor gave a little wave as the doors closed. The doors melted and warped as the energy beam hit them. The air was full of the smell of molten metal and plastic.

The Doctor stabbed the ground floor button. He had no idea what was on the ground floor but it had to be better than the floor he was on now! The elevator clanked and groaned as it continued downwards. It then came to a juddering halt as the doors whooshed open.

After peering out nervously, the Doctor strolled out. No Daleks. That's a good thing.

The question is, what are Daleks doing here at all? The Doctor wasn't too worried about that question. Those kinds of questions always seemed to answer themselves in the not too distant future.

The questions of how to get out of here and recover his Tardis were more pressing for him.

At least there were no alarms going off here. Not yet anyway. They wouldn't figure on his being down here. Not yet anyway.

"Who are you?" A short, middle-aged man in a bio-hazard suit had spotted him and was scurrying over. "What are you doing here, this is a restricted floor!"

"Is it?" said the Doctor, looking down. He tapped the floor experimentally with a foot. "It doesn't seem very restricted to me, it's letting me walk on it."

"Who are you?"

"Doctor John Smith, scientific advisor." He gave him the benefit of his charming smile. "You must be?"

"My names Norris and I've never heard of you." He pulled off his protective helmet revealing a balding head and a fiercely myopic stare. "Where's your pass?"

"Norris! Doctor Norris? Author of Electron Spin Resonance of Chlorophyll and the Origin of Signal I in Photosynthesis?" He shook him fiercely by the hand. "Marvellous read, I did laugh when I read your theory, but you are nearly there!"

"Well, thank you," said Norris, not sure whether he had been insulted or complimented.

"So what's with the bug eyed beasties up above then?" he said, pointing up.

"Bug eyed beasties? We are researching how to cure the various forms of insanity and mental instability using genetic modifications. Our experiments will prove a great leap forward for mankind."

"Of course they will, Doctor Norris, of course they will, now I just left the car on a meter outside; you couldn't tell me where the exit is, could you?"

"First left, second on the right, then follow the red lines in the corridor."

"Thanks," said the Doctor. "Keep going on the research, I need the entertainment!"

On the floors two above him alarms started. "Hey, I haven't seen your pass!"

"Well, I haven't seen yours! You could be anyone!"

Norris showed the Doctor his pass. The Doctor studied it carefully and handed back a card. "That seems fine, carry on."

The Doctor walked off down the corridor, turned left and started running. He looked in his pocket for the card he had palmed off Norris. He didn't like stealing but he had replaced it with a playing card from the court of Anne of Cleves, Queen consort of England. A far nicer card in his opinion. She was a lovely girl, only spoke German and couldn't play snap to save her life, but a lovely girl. Whether Norris would think this a fair exchange he didn't want to be around to find out.

* * *

Gordon was standing near a dark alleyway as the GCPD sealed off the crime scene and waved away any spectators. A match scratched noisily over the brickwork and burst into spluttering light. Any sharp-eyed observer might have seen a dark figure behind him. Gordon lit his cigar and inhaled the fumes. He threw the match to the floor, careless of the sign behind him warning of a $50 fine for littering.

"So what do you know?" Gordon asked of the shadow behind him.

There was silence behind him.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"You arrested a couple of people earlier today on my say-so. Where did you take them?"

"The station."

"They aren't there, I've had it checked. Where did you take them?"

Gordon seemed to suffer a nervous twitch. "The station."

The Batman looked at his friend curiously. His pupils were slightly dilated and his skin went a pale colour as if he was having some internal battle. Some kind of hypnotic control? "Turn around, Gordon, look at me." Gordon stayed still. "Turn around!" His voice got deeper and more commanding. "Where are they?"

"I don't know."

He would have to break through the conditioning. He removed a small silver batarang from his belt and reflected light off a streetlamp into Gordon's eyes. "Concentrate on the light. Where have they been taken?"

"I can not tell you."

The Batman's voice got deeper and more hypnotic. "Where?"

"Arkham. The man has been taken to Arkham. I don't know where the girl is."

"Who did this to you?"

"Stamer. His name is Commander Stamer."

The Batman disappeared back into the shadows.

* * *

The President of the United States had just gotten off the phone to the Joker. It was cold in the White House. The air conditioning was not needed in winter and the building's age meant that it was difficult to heat properly. Despite all of this he was sweating.

"Mr President, sir," came the gravelly voice of one of his advisors.

"Can we do what he said?"

"Mr President, sir, it is not morally right."

"Screw morally right. That monster has my child. Can we do what he says?"

"Calm down, sir. We have to think about this."

"And while we think, that monster has my child and the child of every senator. We need to get them back."

"Sir, need I remind you we do not negotiate with terrorists or criminals."

"What are we negotiating for? He doesn't want money or territory or weapons. All he wants is…"

"I am well aware what he wants, sir, but we don't know why."

* * *

The Joker crossed and uncrossed his legs in excitement. "That was a humdinger of a call! A real humdinger! I just love that guy! I would have voted for him myself. I would have broken out of Arkham and voted for him, I just swear I would!"

He turned to the Master who was standing quietly in the background.

"Now, beardy, would you mind explaining just why we asked for what we did? I was going to ask for my face grinning from Mount Rushmore or them to change the name of America to Jokersville."

"Fulfil your end of the bargain and I will give you power over this pathetic planet, and you can name it whatever you want."

A flicker of annoyance came over the Joker's face. His grin quickly returned. "Whatever you say, beardy, but know this." A silver stiletto appeared in one hand. "Cross me and I'll cross you." He turned to Bartlett, one of his men. "I'm bored. Bring one of the brats. The presidential brat."

"Boss, we promised him they would not be harmed."

The Joker lowered his face casting his eyes into darkness and giving him a skull-like appearance. "Bring me one of the brats. I'm itchin' to do some scratchin'."

"Boss," said Bartlett. "We promised him they would not be harmed."

"And so they shan't be harmed," the Joker cackled. "Much. Bring me a brat and some stickin' plaster! Doctor Joker is in the house!"

"Boss, you're the boss, Boss," said Bartlett.

A frightened girl appeared, dragged in by Bartlett.

"What's your name, cupcake?" asked the Joker.

"C-c-c-c-connie!"

"With all those c's? Tell me about yourself, honey?"

"My papa's the President."

"That I know, sweetikins. Tell me about yourself. I like to know I am cutting a soul, not a cadaver."

Her eyes were huge and round; she put a hand over them as if to hide from the view of the Joker. She started sobbing.

"You don't need to be frightened of your Unkee Joker," he slowly drew a knife and was shocked as his arm was held back by a strong hand.

"We need these hostages in one piece, Joker." He struggled to free his arm. With his other arm he tried to stab the Master, who disarmed him with a contemptuous twist of his wrist. "One piece, Joker, but I don't need you in one piece. Return her, Bartlett. The Joker and I need a chat." The Master's dark eyes bored into the Joker's. "I am the Master and you will obey me."

"I will obey you," said the Joker quietly.

"You will obey all my instructions."

"I will obey all your instructions."

"You will…"

"What sort of instructions? Can I pretend to be a chicken? Can I? Can I, huh?" The Joker moved his shoulders as if dancing to some internal beat. "Can you make me quit my smoking habit? Not that I smoke, but I'd love to start just so I can quit! You're a laugh riot! You and I are going to get along famously!" He winked at Connie as she was taken back to her holding cell. "I'll get you later, Penelope Pitstop, you see if I don't!"

* * *

The Batmobile carved through the streets, water sluicing from both sides as it went to Arkham.

"Oracle," he said.

There was a few seconds silence, then the Oracle's voice echoed through the car. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to Arkham."

"Business or pleasure?"

He ignored her comment. "The man who came from the police box was taken there."

"What? Without a trial? Why?"

"I'm going to get him; I believe he may be able to help us with our little mystery."

* * *

Captain Jack Harkness was standing at one side of the console and Rose was at the other. The console was thrumming and purring as Jack pressed various buttons and moved several gears. The Doctor had fiddled and changed the control board so many times over the centuries, depending on what mood he was in. Some of the controls looked like they came from the Jules Verne novel "From the Earth to the Moon". These were wooden and clunky and despite appearances did amazingly complicated things. Other controls needed the pilot to wave a hand in a certain way over the console like a sorcerer. This would make the controls appear often in a completely different part of the console. Still more were embedded in the marble side of the console. You could only see them if you looked at it in a certain angle, then they would rise to the surface.

It had taken Jack several hours to realise that the mirrors embedded into the console were not just reflecting back his handsome form but also information - but not in English or Gallifreyan (a language he knew a little) but in Siderial, a language that died with its civilisation over two billion years ago. He only knew this because he passed his Universal Translator over it. The Tardis should have translated it automatically, but for some strange quirk the Doctor had stopped it translating this, for no earthly reason that Jack could work out.

The ship was, in short, a mess. It had been tinkered about with so much over the centuries it was a wonder it ran at all. Probably only the Doctor could get it to do exactly what he wanted and even that was doubtful.

"Okay," said Rose. "So I press the red button first, followed by the blue, then pull down on the lever and twist this thing here clockwise?"

"No!" said Jack. "Red, blue, pull up the lever and twist that anti-clockwise."

"Okay," said Rose. "Red, blue, pull up the lever and twist this anti-clockwise."

"Make it blue, pull down the lever, twist it anti-clockwise then red."

"Okay," said Rose, her voice starting to show her impatience. "Blue, pull down the lever, twist anti-clockwise then red."

"Nothing like!" said Jack, reading the data in one of the mirrors. "Goddam Siderial! The Siderial's were colour blind. Their blue is red! Okay: blue, red, green, pull up the lever and anticlockwise."

"Where did green come from? If you are reading this in a mirror does that mean these instructions are the opposite to what you are telling me?"

"Yes, I mean no! I mean I don't know. Oh, who cares, just press everything you can!"

"When?"

"I'll count to three."

"Okay, is that after three or on three?"

"On three, or should we make it four just to be different?"

"Let's just do it now!" said Rose. The Tardis made a strange groaning sound as it tried to force itself out of the temporal displacement it was in.

* * *

The Doctor soon reached the exit of Arkham Asylum. A large disgruntled-looking security guard eyed him from the back of the hall. A whirring sound above his head made him look up as a camera above followed his movements. He smiled at the camera as he slotted his stolen pass card into the turnstile, which beeped politely and let him out.

Two girls were manning the high-tech looking reception and he gave them both a friendly wave as he walked out.

There sitting outside the Asylum was a car the like of which he had never seen before. It was black, sleek and armoured. The embossed outline of a bat in flight covered the door. Light just seemed to fall into it. A dull click came from the interior and a door gull-winged open.

Inside he could see a man dressed in body armour and a cowl. He shuddered involuntarily at his demonic appearance.

"Get in," growled the Batman.

"Errr, I don't think I will actually," said the Doctor and made to walk past the car.

"Don't make me do this hard way."

The Doctor rubbed his neck where the Batman had hit him earlier in the day. The Doctor thought shrewdly. He had lost Rose and the Tardis and his sonic screwdriver. Well, it never did any harm to talk to someone and if he didn't talk to him he might suffer harm.

"Well, what's the harm?" He sat down in the seat and looked with astonishment at the vast array of buttons, dials and screens. None of them were marked in any way that he could see. Certainly not visually. He touched one of the buttons and realised there were a couple of raised dots on it. Braille. So the car could be operated in total darkness. "So, my visually impaired friend, you are?"

"The Batman, and we need to talk."

* * *

Acrid black smoke was pouring out of the console. Strange flames erupted from the one of the walls. These were a blue colour with a reddish tinge and they did not seem to be burning anything.

"What are they?" Rose screamed.

"St Vitus flames," said Jack. "Time flames, the Tardis is being scorched out of history. Press the blue button."

Rose looked at the console; there were three blue buttons. "Which one?"

"Any one!" Jack screamed as the flames approached him. A blue pen left on the console disappeared into a pathetic puff of dust as the flames flickered over them. The flames surrounded him, the hem of his jacket disappeared into nothingness. "Hurry!" Rose pressed a button and the flames winked out of existence. The Tardis door creaked open behind them. Rose and Jack staggered out. Smoke billowed out of the door behind them and matched in intensity the smoke around them.

"Where are we?" said Rose, her eyes starting to weep from the fumes.

"Gotham, according to the readouts. I think we are two weeks from when we left."

Gotham had a chilling, almost savage beauty to it. It was now a city in nothing but name. It was a wasteland illuminated by the flickering of yellow fires that still clung to the wreckage of what had been skyscrapers, churches, mosques, schools and homes. Eerie whining sounds could be heard overhead but they could not see what caused them.

"What happened here?" asked Rose.

Jack put a gloved hand on a melted and incinerated wall and said quietly. "Daleks."

* * *

Present day – deep in a house in downtown Gotham, Connie, the daughter of the President, was pretending to sleep. Bartlett was sleeping on a chair in the corner. She could hear the measured sounds of breathing from him. She had to let the outside world know where she was. She was in a dormitory with the others; she cautiously opened an eye to see a figure from her worst nightmares.

The Joker.


	7. The Doc and the Bat meet

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Seven - Batman – Invasion**

"Three blind mice," warbled the Joker. "See how they run! They all ran after the farmer's wife, she cut off their tails with a carving knife, have you ever seen such a thing in your life, as three blind mice!"

Connie was frightened. Terrified. Her stomach felt like it was full of cold water and she could not stop shivering as she stared at the clown.

"I love that little nursery rhyme, don't you, cherry pie? It's got everything, violence, blinding and more violence. I'm just a softie at heart."

"Joker! Joker!" Bartlett, one of the Joker's men, shouted at him. "Stop that, man! Leave her alone, eh?"

The Joker spun around, his trademark smile very much not in evidence. "You've forgotten how to smile, Barty boy? Do you want Uncle Joker to teach you?"

"Chill, boss, chill," said Bartlett; he was sweating despite the cool of the room. "We got a message from the President. The Master says he is downloading the files now. He seems happy, so so should you. We got what we want."

"What we want?" said the Joker quietly. "What WE WANT? WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT!"Behind him Connie scuttled behind her bed. "I HADN'T GOT STARTED! I WAS GOING TO CREATE A WORK OF ART!"

"We can release them now; we have what we want."

"We don't release anyone until I say."

"The President is an old fashioned sort. We have half the information now and he will release the rest when we release the children."

"I don't trust him; I've never trusted Republicans."

"He's a Democrat."

"Whatever, let's up the stakes. I want the White House painted purple by sundown and my face grinning from the fifty dollar bill!"

"Whatever, boss, I think you should speak to the Master first though."

"Speak to the Master, speak to the Master," said the Joker, frowning. "What am I, an errand boy? I've never been a team player, always more of an individualist. Come on, Barty boy, let's see what the Master wants, any problems with him and I'll ship him to the stone age, one way ticket. His time machine doesn't look that difficult to use."

Deep in the cellars of a Gotham building two unwilling allies were conferring. One was standing in the doorway. His purple suit and white face made him a familiar but horrifying figure to the denizens of Gotham. The other sat robed and cowled in a high-backed stone chair. His face was unfamiliar to Gotham and if he had his way it would always be.

"You disturbed me, bub, I was about to start cutting cutesey."

"Fool," said the Master. "My agents at Arkham say the Doctor has left in the company of the Batman."

"His actions are exactly as you predicted, Master."

"I know him," said the Master. "I know him of old in all his forms."

"Are you sure he will succeed in tracking us down?"

"Of course; the Doctor is very resourceful, he knows he is entering a trap but how can he resist such a bait? The fate of the children and the Earth is at hand!"

"The Batman is also a relentless foe, he will not easily give up and I'm not going to keep calling you the Master! Have you thought this Master thing is hiding some deep-seated social inadequacies? I'm sorry, I don't do the sycophantic henchman very well."

The Master ignored this and put a hand to his ear as he heard someone talk into his com piece. He scowled. "The President is giving us half the information we want, but…"

"But what, beardy?"

"He wants us to return the children now or we do not get the other half."

The Master was silent, his eyes seeming to bore into the Joker's twisted soul. "Well?" asked the Joker. "Speak or forever hold your piece, or speak or I will cut out your tongue."

"He needs some persuasion. Take half the children to a public spot in Gotham and release them. Include a message that if he does any more thinking we will post the rest of them in a bag."

The Joker licked his lips. "Can I deliver the message personally?"

"No, I need you here for the time being. Send them with some of your men. It will keep this Batman busy and away from the real game."

"You don't know Gotham, do you?"

The Master said nothing.

"You need something with a little more drama to catch the attention of the Gothamites. Can't I borrow one of your tin pot talking trash cans?"

"Their time is not here," said the Master. "Yet."

"No matter, no matter," said the Joker. He took three snooker balls from one of his capacious pockets and started juggling them at great speed. "Did I say drama?"

The Master nodded imperceptibly.

"I hate police dramas; the bad guys always win. I'm a fan of medical dramas! Life and death and blood. Always good for the ratings!" He stopped juggling and the balls landed in his pockets.

"Ratings? What are you on about?"

"You're dealing with politicians! They're all actors, just too ugly to tread the boards in theatre. They're also interested in ratings, column inches, voters and headlines." The Joker spread both arms out. "I always get the headlines and I always get the attention! I'll get you your headline and I'll get you the attention!"

"I don't want headlines or attention!"

"You're no fun anymore!"

* * *

The Doctor sat down in the seat and tried to make himself comfortable. It was difficult. The car had been designed with a lot of things in mind, but comfort was not one of them. He tried not to look alarmed as a safety belt snaked over him and secured him in place. He then felt his entire body pushed back into the seat by what felt like several Gs as the car roared away.

"Name?"

The Doctor started at this voice and looked over the Batman. His face looked like it was carved from marble. The voice had to have come from him though.

"Well, I am normally known as the Doctor. Universally."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, sitting down at the moment, looking for your car stereo. You don't have the Radetsky March by any chance? No? Yellow Submarine? What does this button do?"

"Don't press any buttons." The Batman shot the Doctor a look that would have made a lesser mortal quail. "You came here in a blue time machine. I want to know why, and why you teamed up with the Joker."

"I think you've got me mistaken for someone else."

A screen flickered on in the car and a news report started. "The Joker has kidnapped all the children of the Senators and the President of the United States of America in a brazen plot. Initial reports are sketchy but he seems to be travelling in a police box." What looked like security camera footage showed a blue police box appearing in the corner of a garden and the Joker and his men running out. "So far we have had no statement from the White House but we have just been told a press conference has been called in thirty minutes. We now return you to…" The screen flickered off.

"Curiouser and curiouser."

"Is that your police box?"

He grinned at the Batman. "Appearances can be deceptive. You couldn't play that back again could you?" The Doctor grinned again as he watched. This grin then froze as the Police box disappeared again. "What's your part in this anyway? Have I gatecrashed a costume party?"

"The Joker kidnapped all those children. I want to get them back, and your police box stole them."

The Doctor shook his head. "That's not mine. Not my dematerialisation signature. Besides, it's not a police box."

"What is it then?"

"A Tardis. I don't expect you to understand. I parked mine at the corner of Thirtieth and Fourth."

"It's gone."

"Gone, right. Gone."

"What do you know about those robots?"

"Robots? What robots?"

"Some kind of robot in a dimpled armour shell, approximately 1.65 metres in height. Firing energy beams. One took out a building in downtown Gotham."

"I don't know what you mean."

A small red light flashed on the console for a brief second. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm telling the truth! Can you let me out here?" The red light flashed again. "So this seat belt doubles as a lie detector? Fascinating. Okay, but first I need to get my Tardis back. It's probably a silly question but you don't have access to an electronics lab of some sort? If I can track my own Tardis I'll be able to track this rogue one."

"Batman," said a woman's voice. "Security cameras have picked up Diablo, one of the Joker's men."

"Where?"

"Gotham University."

"I'm on it."

"I'm sure Robin could look at it. Where Diablo is, the Joker will not be far behind."

"I said I'm on it." The Batman's voice brooked no argument.

"Who is this Joker?" asked the Doctor.

The Batman shot him a glance. He seemed genuinely not to know. "A criminal. A psychopath. I will bring him to justice."

The Batmobile cut through the teeming streets of Gotham like they were empty. The Doctor had travelled the length and breadth of the universe, seen its creation and its end, and even he was impressed.

"Do you have to drive so fast?" he said as he clung in desperation to any available handhold in the car, Batman braked, changed down, and with all four wheels in a screaming slide and at just over a hundred miles per hour took a corner that few professional racing drivers, however good, would have taken at sixty.

The Batman ignored him. Gotham University was up ahead. The building was an art deco classic, which covered several city blocks. It was designed by Schulze and Weaver in 1934. Designed as a shining beacon of Gotham's future, now it was a dirty grey grim building in an area awash with crime and corruption.

A red flashing alarm could be seen winking on the corner. The Batman accelerated towards it and slid half way round the corner, all four tires at right angles to the building. It seemed to the Doctor that they were out of control but the Batman had judged it to an unerring degree of accuracy and the car screeched to a halt outside the building in a perfect parallel park.

"Stay in the car," he said to the Doctor and leapt out as the black armour plated door gull-winged open. The door hissed shut behind him.

"Not likely," said the Doctor to himself and tried to open the door. Locked. He looked with interest at the buttons and using his knowledge of Braille quickly found the button to unlock the door.

Nothing.

Why not? Some sort of retina encoding? Fingerprint scanning? DNA ident feature? Key?

He thought longingly of his sonic screwdriver. With that he would be out of here in a trice.

He peered through the bulletproof glass at what was happening outside. Vague shadows could be seen.

He jumped back from the window as a bullet pinged off the glass and with an eerie shriek headed into the air.

On second thought, I'll stay in the car.

* * *

Diablo.

The Batman had had a few run-ins with him in the past. He normally played second fiddle to the Joker but occasionally the Joker gave him his own job.

"Hey, Bats," said Diablo, "stay back or the next bullet goes under the cowl." He was a huge bear of a man. He had cut his own face to give himself a bigger grin. Joker's man through and through. "We're returning the kiddywinks for you! Well, some of them!" The van behind him opened up and half a dozen children came pouring out.

"Batman, it's Gordon," a voice came through on his comlink. Gordon rarely used his comlink.

"What is it, Commissioner?"

"The President has said you are to leave the Joker's men alone until all the children are free. Do you understand?"

"What's the matter, Bats?" asked Diablo. "Lost your tongue?"

The Batman pulled his cloak in, making him seem like a dark statue. The children flowed past him.

"We'd love to stay and chat." Diablo walked up to Batman. "Boo! Ha! Ha! Can't touch us today, eh Batty?" There was the dull glint of a knife. "Joker would love one of your ears for his wall. Aaaaaah!" The Batman grabbed his arm. There was a dull clicking sound. "Eaaaahhh! You're not to touch us!"

"If any of those children have been hurt, you get double." He let go of Diablo and the big man went flying back.

Diablo rubbed his arm, wincing in pain. "I'm going to enjoy watching the Joker cut you up. Follow us and the next kid the Joker releases will be in pieces, you understand me?"

The Batman stood still and silent as the van roared off into the night. The wail of police sirens could be heard behind him. The police would return the children. He stalked back to his car.

* * *

The Doctor closed his eyes to avoid seeing the rapidly changing scenery around him. "You haven't seen my companion at all, have you? Short blonde girl? Very inquisitive?"

Silence. More than once the Doctor flinched away from one side as the car somehow avoided hitting either a lamppost or some oncoming traffic.

Minutes later they were out from one of the many exits of Gotham Central and heading into the hills. From towering buildings to towering trees, the transformation was fast. Large houses, estates and golf courses dotted the landscape.

"I also lost a sonic screwdriver? It looks a bit like a pen but not?"

The Doctor looked over to judge the Batman's reaction. Nothing. He stayed silent and just took in his surroundings. He then gave an involuntary cry as the car seemed to accelerate towards a cliff, and then they were surrounded by black. The windscreen lit up a dull red as infrared headlights showed them the way through a cave system.

The car parked on a turntable and the doors gull-winged open. The Batman leapt casually out. The Doctor clambered out awkwardly and rather shakily.

He was in a cave. Judging by the echoes, a big cave. High above him he could hear the squeaks of hundreds of bats. The car's headlights died, casting the cave into a Stygian darkness.

Suddenly lights shooshed on above him, revealing the cave was in fact a complex.

"Lummey," said the Doctor. "I hope never to use the word Lummey again. What does it even mean?"

The car was parked next to a half a dozen other black armoured vehicles. All slightly different. A couple of beat up Chevys, an ambulance, and two Gotham police cars completed the ensemble. Also half a dozen motorbikes, some heavily armoured some obviously very, very fast. Four bat shaped gliders were also hanging from the roof, some jet powered. He could hear a river roaring down a side tunnel and he could see a black armoured boat tied up there and fighting against the current.

A huge computer dominated the middle of the cave, its screens showing a multitude of images and data. Several small holding cells were set in the side of the cave, one looking like the inside of a fridge, another like a fish tank. There was what looked like a museum on one side. The museum was dominated by a giant dinosaur and a huge coin and a case with a small red costume in it. He read the label – 'He was a good soldier.'

"Weird." A small but well equipped laboratory caught his attention for a few seconds and he cast a professional eye over it. Also what looked like a transporter. He checked his watch. Yep, start of the twenty-first century. There was some seriously anachronistic technology here.

"Can you track your Tardis from here?"

The Doctor jumped at this unexpected comment. "How do you know about the Tardis?"

"You told me."

"So I did, so I did. Well it's not a bad lab. A little crude for my tastes but I should be able to knock up something or other. Jelly baby?"

"What? No thanks."

"No, have you got a jelly baby? You can always tell what kind of man you're dealing with by whether they carry a jelly baby with them." The Doctor examined the lab intently.

The Batman subtly looked at one of the smaller computer screens. It had just finished scanning the Doctor.

Retina scan – Unknown

Fingerprint scan – Unknown

Facial scan – Unknown

DNA – Unable to complete analysis

Heart beat – Unable to complete analysis. Dual hearts discovered.

The Batman looked over the man who was just starting to collect together a few tools in his lab. There was more to his guest than meets the eye, and he still not did not trust him, but at least here in the cave he could keep an eye on him.

* * *

Jack Harkness rubbed his hands together. "Okay Rose, let's get back to the Doc."

"What's the point?" asked Rose. "The Earth has been destroyed."

"You're not thinking time travel. This is the future if we don't return and we stay in this time line."

"So if we return, we can save the Earth?"

"Possibly, probably, perhaps, maybe? Who knows? But we won't do much staying here. Let's go back into the big blue after the big Doc."

* * *

"Have you an Atron wave analyser?"

An imperceptible shake of his head.

"A Co-indicil spectrum wangler?"

Silence.

"A pear drop?"

A glare.

"Oh well, no problem, no problem. Pass me that soldering iron, can you?" said the Doctor irritably. "No, not that one. That one. There is no point just standing there looking sinister. Where's he gone?" The Batman had stalked off to his computer screens and was busy looking at various readouts. "Hmph. Let's see what he has here. Anything useful? More projectiles than you can shake a bat at, but anything useful? Can I take your computer apart?" Silence. "I said, can I take your computer apart? Okay! Don't look at me like that! I'll make do with this. An eighty core chip, not bad. Some crystals. Might be able to do some piezoelectricity. If only you would stop talking and allow me to concentrate I might be able to build this!"

The Batman sat at his computer. His houseguest was busy behind him. He did not trust him and would keep at a distance. In the Batman's universe, trust was earned and in his experience rarely.

The computers were busy analysing data about his unknown houseguest. He had no doubt he could contain him if he was here and he would rather he was here under his eyes than not.

He had work to do before that though. His hands flickered over the keyboard. A big screen flickered to life above him, showing a map of Gotham. A red light blinked on and off, travelling down a road. This stopped and then walked into a building. The map zoomed in on the red dot. The Batman allowed himself a flicker of a smile. The homing beacon he had planted on Diablo was working perfectly. He was not allowed to engage the Joker and his men but he could at least monitor them.

He pressed his communicator button. "R, this is B."

Silence.

"R, this is B?"

Still silence. The Batman waited impatiently, his fingers drumming out a tune on the console.

Static came over the intercom, then a voice. "B, this is R."

"I want you to monitor fifteen Gramercy Park South."

"No problem." There was the sound of light footfalls, then a whooshing sound as the teenage detective launched himself off a building and swung through the streets on his d-cel line. "What am I monitoring?"

"The Joker is there. I want you to monitor it. Nothing more. Stay out of sight and plan an assault. If the Joker leaves I want to know to where. You do not engage him or anyone, do you understand?"

Silence.

"I said, do you understand?"

"Yeah. R out."

A screen flickered into life in the top right. "I've got some info on your…" The Oracle checked her screens and added. "Ah, I see. I'll send you the info."

The Doctor glanced a little too casually at the screen. His keen eyes caught a mass of data. He could only make out one word. Torchwood.

So far the Batman had been hospitable, apart from the lack of jelly babies, but he knew what he was.

A prisoner.

A prisoner with certain rights perhaps, but still a prisoner. With a lost Tardis and Daleks on the prowl he knew he should be out there and not in here. He could see the Batman give him a glance out of the corner of his eye.

If he didn't know better he would say his freedom was about to be curtailed again. He looked at the table, at the pathetic collection of items he had made and garnered. Not much, but it might be enough.

The Batman read the article quickly. Torchwood had been set up and its prime remit was to capture the Doctor. Various smaller articles about being involved in various alien invasions. Several names that meant nothing to him. Cybermen, Cylons, Daemons and Yeti to name but a few. The Doctor's name was written into the Torchwood Foundation's charter as an enemy of the Crown in England. He was a danger; he should be under lock and key to face justice for his crimes. The Batman turned to the Doctor. "You've got some explaining to do as to why there is a government agency out just to capture you."

The Doctor gave a smile. "Really? A government agency? Well, I've always been popular."

"Save your stories for the police; I've got the Joker to catch."

"Well, I'll say tatty bye!" The Doctor pressed a button on a crude remote control he had configured. All the lights in the cave winked out, casting the cave into an inky blackness. He counted to two, shut his eyes, and then pressed another button. A bright white flash lit up the cave and he heard a muffled cry right in front of him. He put on some night vision goggles he had collected and stepped over the Batman who had been just about to punch him out. He had blinded the Batman with the flash and was now running towards his car.

The Batman cursed. He had dropped his night vision lenses as soon as the cave went dark and was suckered by the flash of light. It would take him forty-five seconds to get back his vision. He could hear the Doctor run down the stairs and sent a weighted batarang at where he would be.

The Doctor rolled down the stairs as the air above him was cut by the Batarang.

Close.

Too close.

He ran towards the car.

The Batman dropped down his eye shields and earplugs. Earplugs specially designed to amplify the sonar, which he turned on. The world seemed grey and hazy to him but he could see it. He got to his feet and leapt down the staircase to where his car was. He could make out the Doctor struggling to open the door. He would never get past the access codes and he only needed three seconds to knock him out.

He never got those three seconds. The Doctor placed something against the car and the door gull-winged open and hissed shut behind him.

The Doctor pressed a couple of buttons and got a beeping sound, and there was a hiss of gas. He held his breath, some sort of knockout gas. He could hold his breath for at least five minutes, hopefully long enough to get out of here. He tried the buttons again. A variant of a semiotic code. The door outside started to open as the Batman wrenched it up. The Doctor slammed shut the door and pressed the power button. The engines roared into life and the Doctor, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel, shot through the tunnels and out of the cave.

"What a way to travel!"


	8. Car vs Plane

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Eight - Batman – Invasion**

The Batman cursed quietly under his breath. He had misjudged this Doctor; he did not think anyone would have been able to steal the Batmobile from under his very wings.

He would get it back and make the Doctor pay. He said one word. "Wing."

From the roof a jet powered Batwing powered up, making a hundred sleeping bats skitter away in panic and alarm. It lowered itself down to the turntable and landed with surprising grace. The Batwing was a modified Wayne Aviation SlipStream. It was detailed to resemble a standard small corporate jet during take-offs and landings, outside the cave. It was also capable of vertical take off and landing. Smart paint on the radar shielding ceramics could change the colour of the underside of the plane to match the sky and the top of the plane to match the city. The wings could fold back to form the classic Bat shape. He had also had installed a few more optional extras.

The cockpit shooshed open and the Batman leapt in. This was about the only vehicle capable of catching the Batmobile.

The Batman took two seconds to acclimatise himself to the controls and the cockpit before moving the control stick back to take off. Most experienced pilots would never dream of flying a jet powered plane in a cave. The Batman usually used the autopilot to guide it through the huge cave system.

Not this day.

With an uncanny skill he soared through the caves after the Doctor with incredible speed and accuracy. A dust cloud expanded behind him.

* * *

The Doctor pressed gingerly on the accelerator again.

"Blimey!"

This car was fast and the controls needed a bit of getting the hang of. Not to mention it was chock full of traps. With his left hand he dismantled a bit more of the control panel.

"Nice technology," he said approvingly. "Would have used Zootonium filament for the wires, but you can't get that in this time zone."

The car slowed down to a crawl outside the cave as the Doctor squinted up at the sky to try and get his bearings. Gotham had to be north of here.

A melodic beep came from the car and a small screen lit up green, showing a plane approaching very quickly. The Doctor slammed his foot on the accelerator and let out a small screech of panic.

Very un-Time Lord-like he thought, then screamed again as he nearly crashed into a tree. The pedals were incredibly sensitive. He found he only needed the slightest twitch to send the car at amazing speeds.

A dark shadow loomed overhead. He could see the Batwing hovering over the car. Power cut out from the car and electric blue lightning curled threateningly over the dashboard.

The Doctor grinned to himself. He knew just the response to this. He jabbed the brake with his foot and pressed a button to set up a feedback loop. He looked up with satisfaction as the power forced itself back to the plane and the engine started again.

He could see behind him the plane scrape against a few trees, sending branches and leaves showering over the road. Lightning coursed over the plane and earthed itself angrily into the ground. Seconds later the Batman regained control of his errant craft and sent it hurtling back towards the mobile.

"Mmmmm," the Doctor thought as he drove. In a few seconds his heightened Time Lord senses mastered the controls of the car. It still had a few dozen features he was not familiar with. The buttons and levers were all marked in Braille, not even an English form but a Tibetan level three Braille ASCII code variant.

Tibetan?

Might explain some of his skills, assuming he had not learnt them off planet. Some of the technology was certainly futuristic. He glanced down at the speedometer. Nearly 100 mph! Now where to?

First of all I need my sonic screwdriver from the police. I need to find my Tardis and Rose and I need to stop the Daleks. Yes, not necessarily in that order though, he mulled.

He squinted at his watch. Should have time to pick up some jelly babies as well! I wonder what fuel this takes? Unleaded or diesel? Should I pick up some furry dice for the front as well? It needs jazzing up for when I return it, as a sort of thank you.

"What the-?"

The Doctor hated leaving sentences hanging. He much preferred to finish them off, but when the car stopped rocketing down the road and started floating he ran out of verbs. And adverbs. Nouns and pronouns were also right out,

The door started to open. He grabbed it with one hand and tried to slam it shut.

"Ouch!" A minor electric shock stopped that. He grabbed his handkerchief to insulate against the current and tried again. Wisps of smoke came from the edge of the cloth filling the air with an acrid smell but at least he could close the door. A Venusian coin leapt from his pocket and hit the roof above him with a reverberating clang.

He peered above and could see the Batwing had caught the car in some sort of magnetic force field.

His fingers brushed against the buttons in the car to read them.

Oil slick.

Rockets.

Batarangs.

Wind screen wash.

Demagnetise! He pressed the button forcefully. What sort of man would put in a demagnetise button in his car?

The car landed with a thunderous crash, jarring every bone in his body and making the Doctor bite his lip painfully. To cap it all the coin hit him on the head, making him rub his scalp ruefully. He jabbed the accelerator pedal and the car leapt away.

In seconds he was in the narrow streets of Gotham. Nobody can fly a jet plane in the streets of Gotham. There are too many cables and fire escapes and street lights.

Unfortunately nobody had told the Batman this.

The Doctor cursed fluently in Venusian as he looked in his rear view mirror. This was turning into an interesting day even for him.

* * *

The Tardis was good at skulking. It would never appear in the middle of a game of football, or basketball, or right where they are filming the President's inaugural address. It always had an innate sense to avoid attention. It also had various sensors and over four million protocols and programs designed to protect its occupants from any danger that was outside. Time Lords were quite a hardy species from a bipedal point of view, but they still could only survive in quite a small temperature range. They were quite restricted as to gravity as well. Too much gravity and you wouldn't have a Time Lord so much as a puddle. Too much radiation, too much artron energy in the atmosphere and your Time Lord would be a long time dead. And since there was now a human in the crew it was even more restricted as to where the Tardis could go. This meant that in a universe of over four billion planets only 5,324,541 were of an Earth like gravity, only 543,212 had the right temperature variation, and of those only 2,432 had the right oxygen levels. Even with all this choice and over ten billion years of history the Tardis kept landing on the Earth in the mid to late twentieth century.

The Doctor would always mutter something about "luck of the draw," but in reality the Doctor liked Earth and because the Doctor and the Tardis were linked the blue box liked Earth as well.

Earth had style.

Even Swindon and Milton Keynes (although possibly not Skegness) had style.

Gotham City not only had style, it had character. Quite a few characters in fact, and quite a few of these characters were not pleasant.

And quite a few of these characters were rather unhappy at having their gang meeting interrupted by the Tardis.

This gang called themselves the Sharks, though in Gotham's underworld they were mere minnows. These were minnows with bite, though.

"Oh yeh, heh, hess!"

"What the hell is it, man?" asked Rudy. The table creaked ominously before it gave up its unequal struggle and the Tardis crashed to the floor with a thunderous crack.

Two month's supply of cocaine was now two month's flattened supply of cocaine. They should be able to scrape it off the floor and resell it. If they could get this blue box off it.

"You landed in the wrong neighbourhood, boy!" said Sol. "Have some hot ones, man!" Sol fired a half dozen bullets at the blue box. There was a series of yellow sparks and bullets zinged around the room, shattering windows and making Rudy duck.

"Stop, you tool!" Rudy had ducked down and had his hands over his ears.

"What!" said Sol. "It's some kind of caped super freak! He's busting us, man! We've got to get him!"

"It's a blue box, Sol," said Rudy. "It is not a freakin' superhero. Superheroes have the muscles, the capes and the deep voice. This is a blue box. Put the gun down, friend, before I put you down."

The door to the Tardis creaked open, shining light over the dingy room. There was a clicking sound of guns being loaded.

A tall man with a long black trench coat and black hair strolled out.

"That's gotta be a goddamn super cop, I'm bustin' him, man! I'm bustin' him!" Sol raised his gun to point at the figure walking out of the Tardis.

"You couldn't tell me when we are, could you?" asked Jack with a smile. "Nice gun, it matches your eyes."

* * *

The Master gave a grim smile.

"At last we have all the information we require. Release the hostages."

"We haven't killed anyone!" said the Joker. "Not even in a vaguely humorous, horribly ironic way!"

"You'll get your chance," said the Master. "And sooner than you might think."

The computer screen flashed in front of the Master.

Information.

Knowledge.

Power!

He now had the entire DNA database of everyone in the United States of America and Europe. All information gathered as part of the vaccination programme. All just a lot of numbers and DNA sequences to most people.

The Master was not most people.

One of the problems with the Daleks and the Time Lords was the Time Lords could track species by their genetic footprint. The Daleks needed a surprise up their polycarbide sleeves to evade the remorseless Time Destroyers the Lords had pitted against them. With a mixture of human, Dalek, and plant DNA, the resulting creature would not only be invisible to the Time Lords' tracking devices but would have a longer life span and be easier to replicate.

Now he had this information he could infect the hostages with the virus, and since they were the sons and daughters of all the Senators they would spread the Dalek virus to all parts of America. The virus could warp and change the frail human template to the Dalek creature.

But not a normal Dalek creature.

A Dalek race DNA coded to obey only him.

A Dalek race controlled by him. And with that the universe would be ruled by him.

He had made the Doctor enemy number one on Earth now by framing him with his own ridiculous Tardis.

And with him out of the way, the Earth was ripe for the picking.

* * *

"Sorry to interrupt your meeting, guys," said Jack. He looked around at the room. Peeling wallpaper and water dripping methodically through the ceiling. "This place is definitely a fixer upper."

"You ain't goin' nowhere, man!" said Sol, pointing his gun at Jack.

Rose peered nervously round the side of the door. "Why is no-one ever pleased to see us?"

* * *

The Batman cursed as he flew and zipped through the canyons of Gotham struggling to keep the car in sight. He could beat it on straight runs but he could not turn as easily as the car, and the Doctor was dodging in and out of streets, through alleyways and twice down flights of stone stairs and through parks. The Batman winced at each collision the car made with a statue or a phone booth. Once he flew under some washing lines. The clothes behind him got caught in the vortex and scattered jeans and shirts over the street behind him.

Close.

Too close.

This chase was getting too dangerous even for him. He fired a tracking device from the plane to the shell of the Batmobile and took the plane out of the streets to monitor the situation from above.

The Doctor had somehow managed to disable the onboard tracking devices. A radar screen flickered into life on the console in front of him, showing a map of Gotham and a blinking red light showing the Batmobile. It had stopped in a multi-storey parking garage beneath him.

Thirty seconds later he had landed the plane on the top floor of the garage (surprising a lady loading up her shopping from Walmart into the trunk of her car) and was racing down the ramp towards his car.

The Batmobile shot past him, making him leap out of the way. The car tried to reverse back the way it had come but the Batman threw a small grenade under a parked Volvo, pushing it backwards in a welter of flames and smoke and jamming it into the only slope out of the garage.

The car raced around the level it was on, passing him several times, vainly looking for an exit before stopping sullenly in a parking lot in front of him. The car seemed to absorb light and had a dark shadowy air to it.

Would the Doctor have changed the onboard defences? A whip-crack sound in front of him made him duck down as a Batarang ejected by the car nearly knocked him out.

He ducked behind a concrete pillar and assessed the situation. Defences had been activated. Whether deliberately, or by accident with the Doctor's meddling about with the systems, he did not know. He cracked his knuckles together impatiently.

He knew there was a gap in the onboard radar behind the left taillight of about a half a metre width. It was something he had been meaning to fix for some weeks but never had the time.

He ghosted towards the car, carefully staying in its 'blind spot'. He frowned at the layer of dust and small scratches on it. The windscreen was dark, not allowing him to see its occupant. The engine casing was giving small plink-plink noises as it cooled down. He clambered lightly onto the roof just out of sight of the onboard defences, and its occupant, he hoped.

He pressed the code for the door and was unsurprised that it had been changed. He then leapt like a scalded cat from the roof of the car onto the concrete ceiling above where he hung on for a few seconds. Electricity snaked sinuously over the car beneath him.

When it stopped he dropped agilely back onto the car roof and got a small cutter from his belt. In seconds he had cut through the inch thick bulletproof glass and dropped a small teargas grenade into the car. He then opened the door and flung it open to confront the Doctor.

As the gas cleared away he realised it was empty.

He pulled his cloak around him grimly. There would be a reckoning between himself and this Doctor.

A bleeping sound alerted the Master. He unclipped a small device from his belt and frowned.

A Tardis had landed in Gotham. And not just any Tardis, but the Doctor's. Somehow he had returned from the trap set for him. The Master did not realise the Doctor had not been flying the Tardis at the time.

He needed to up the stakes. To Gotham PD he was still known as Commander Stamer.

This was something he would use to its full benefit. He picked up a phone. Horribly crude communication device, but rather effective, he had to grudgingly admit. He pressed a few buttons and waited impatiently.

"Gordon." came the voice on the other end of the phone.

"This is Commander Stamer." His voice took on a dreamy hypnotic quality. "And you will obey me."

"I will obey you."

"I want you to put out a city-wide APB on the Doctor. He must be captured or killed with extreme prejudice. Shoot to kill."

"It shall be done."

* * *

The Doctor sauntered casually out of the basement of the multi-storey car park. He had thankfully vacated the car before it went up to the upper levels. That had been a scary chase.

Generally speaking, the Doctor did not scare easily. When you face remorseless, implacable, practically indestructible foes on a nearly daily basis fear is not one of your top emotions, or they would soon be burying you with it. However, there was something about the Batman's appearance that made the Doctor want to forgo seeing him again.

To that end he scuttled down a street, looking anxiously up at the multi-storey car park. There was a flash of light and a booming sound as the Batman battled his errant car. The defences he had activated should keep him busy for a while. Even so, he hurried along the streets.

He stopped and peered round the corner. There was the police station he had been brought to originally. Where this mysterious Stamer was and where they had taken his sonic screwdriver. With that in his pocket, he stood a better chance of tracking his Tardis and Rose down and stopping whatever plan the Daleks had.

The last time he had been here he had been arrested.

Still, a bit of confidence can get you past any situation. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath of Gotham air (and nearly choked) and then marched up the stairs towards the reception of Gotham PD.


	9. A sonic return

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. I will try and include no spoilers for the new series of both Doctor Who and Torchwood. 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me and giving me a few other Doctor ideas, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Nine - Batman – Invasion**

The Boy Wonder knelt among the gothic-looking gargoyles that were prevalent in this part of Gotham. Perfectly at home thirty floors about street-level, he wrapped his cloak tightly around himself as the biting winds threatened to drag him to his doom.

He hated waiting.

The Batman had trained him, and trained him well, but he was still a teenage boy, and no amount of training could still the hormones that raged in him. The Joker was in the building to the front of him and he was told to monitor the situation. He had already placed a couple of listening devices on the top floor window and a silent alarm on the door below.

Not a creature could stir below without him knowing about it. Not even a mouse.

He shut his eyes. His eyelids felt like they had sand in them. He had been up for eighteen hours already and was starting to feel bone tired. He removed a small thermos from his belt and opened it, savouring the smell of chicken soup that Alfred had prepared for him.

Still with his eyes closed he sipped the soup enjoying the warmth that flooded his body.

Beep! Beep!

The door alarm went off, triggering his utility belt to warn him. In half a second he had sealed the thermos and left it beside the moss covered grey gargoyle. He dived forward off his perch, opening his eyes as he went. He stopped himself, giving a whoop of sheer joy as the air rushed past his face.

Batman would not approve. His left hand reached for the grapnel in his belt and he aimed at the wall opposite where it secured itself firmly. As he fell the line tightened, and he swung in a wide arc towards the door. He let go of the line and somersaulted before hitting the door, and landed with dizzying skill on top of a streetlight in front of the door.

The door rattled in front of him.

Was it a false alarm?

The door caught by the wind?

No. The door creaked open and a scared face peered out.

One of the hostages. Shortly followed by all of them.

"B, this is R," said Robin. "The hostages are being released. You want me to go in and talk to the Joker?"

"You do not engage the Joker. I will be there shortly. Make sure he does not escape."

"Sure," said Robin. 'How can I stop him escaping if I don't engage him?' he thought but did not say.

The door opened and Diablo, six foot six of hardened thug, strolled out carrying a gun.

The Batman hadn't said anything about messing with Diablo. Robin fell to the ground, somersaulting as he went and landed lightly in front of him.

"Wanna tango?"

* * *

"Thanks guys, sorry about the table," said Jack Harkness as they were bustled with remarkable speed to the door. "And you really need to talk to your tailor."

"We will now get out!"

"We're going! We're going!" said Jack. "C'mon Rose, we gotta find the Doc. God, I love this town! You'll look after the Tardis for us?"

"What?"

"That blue box."

"How the f… I mean how are we going to get out of the door!"

"Thanks guys. Love the name as well! Sharks! Rowrr! C'mon Rose; keep it real, guys!"

"How did you talk your way out of that one?" asked Rose.

He just cracked a charming smile at her. "Now, where do we find the Doc? Where were you two going before you got arrested?"

"There was a party going on somewhere." She reached into her jeans pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "At Bruce Wayne's place. I've got the address here. The party's probably finished by now."

"Not where I am, babe. Then that's we're going!" He raised an arm. "Taxi!" A yellow cab pulled up next to him. "Wayne Manor, and you couldn't stop off somewhere on route to pick up a bottle of wine, could you?"

* * *

The Doctor soon reached the dark bulletproof glass of the imposing stone building that was Gotham Police Headquarters.

A revolving police sign outside held the legends –

1."Serve the public trust"

2."Protect the innocent"

"Uphold the law"

"Yeah, but you ain't no Bat!" somebody had scrawled under it.

The Doctor ambled over to the reception desk. Be bold, he decided. "Doctor… John Smith; I'm…" He looked at the screen above the reception desk showing a series of photographs of villains with their names and rewards for capture.

"Joker – Mass Murder – Two million dollars. Dead or alive."

"Two-face – Grand theft and murder – One million dollars. Dead or alive."

"Ernie Biggs – Defacing police sign – Twenty dollars. Alive."

"The Doctor – Kidnap of Senatorial children – Five million dollars. Wanted dead."

"Yeah?" asked the girl through the bulletproof screen. A speaker attached to the outside carried her tinny voice into the reception. "What do you want?"

"Me?" said the Doctor, raising a handkerchief to his face and coughing to lower his voice. "I'm here to report a lost…" His eyes hunted the nearby signs for inspiration. "Drugs shipment. Sorry, say no to drugs. What about Vitamin C? Should I say no to that as well?"

She stared at him blankly.

"Sorry, forgot who I am." He pulled out a battered leather wallet and waved it in front of her. "I am Professor Sprinkenstein and I am investigating the property taken from prisoners."

"Can you stop waving it in front of me, please?"

"Sure."

"This says you are from the Hexagon?"

"That should be Pentagon."

"Oh yes, sorry," she said. "I'm sure that changed as I looked at it." She squinted at him. "I'm sure I've seen your face before?"

"I get that a lot, I've been on TV. Adverts for haemorrhoids."

"Yeah, that's probably it. We are rather short staffed at the moment. Do you need an escort?"

"No, I can find my own way around, thanks."

The receptionist's attention was immediately taken up by a noisy family of four complaining about their car being stolen.

The Doctor slipped quietly through the door and into the bustle of the police station. He picked up a police hat as he walked and a pair of Armani sunglasses.

He gave a cheery grin to passing police officers.

"How's it going? Nice suit! Have you lost weight? How's the children? Wife? Lover? Live-in hermaphrodite?" He added these comments as he passed the officers, leaving a confused gaggle of men in his wake.

There it was. The Evidence Room. He opened up the battered steel door and walked inside. It was a warehouse sized room. Huge Joker balloons nestled in the rafters. In the centre was Two-face's car: a battered Chevy on one side and a gleaming limousine on the other.

The guard of this room shuffled over to see him. Known as Old Josh by his colleagues, he should have retired decades ago but for some reason he was always kept on. He had been moved into this room to keep him out of the way. He did not fit in with the gleaming cars and young officers of the rest of the Force. Besides which, Josh liked it. It gave him a chance to do the crosswords and complain to anyone who was listening about his bunions.

"Can I help you, sonny?" asked Josh.

'Sonny?' thought the Doctor. 'I'm over 900 years old!' "I'm looking for some equipment that was taken from the Doctor. Just recently. Yesterday in fact?"

"Do you have a case number?"

"No."

"I'll check my files anyway." He ran a yellow nicotine stained finger down the file he meticulously kept. They had given him a computer but he ignored it. Horrible new fangled thing it was. "Doctor? Doctor? Doctor Pyscho?"

"No."

"Doctor Doom?"

"No."

"Doctor Death."

"No,"

"Doctor Octopus?"

"No, just the Doctor."

"Not Doctor Strange? Doctor Alchemy? Doctor Mid-Nite? Although I'm sure he isn't a proper Doctor. I reckon he picked up his qualification online. Send five dollars and become a Doctor! For ten dollars we will throw in a Lordly title. Anyway Doctor… Oh yes, here it is. Case 97890790.232. It should be over here." He shuffled over to a huge steel cabinet and brought a small box over. "It should contain a pen and some jelly babies."

The Doctor's eyes gleamed as he saw the sonic screwdriver. He picked it up with one hand and, giving it a fancy twirl, pocketed it. He put the jelly babies in his other pockets before thinking a moment and pulling them back out.

"Jelly baby? I don't know why I gave these up!"

"Hang on, you should sign for those!"

"No problem," said the Doctor, putting his Gallifreyan signature on the paper. He glanced at the crossword the man was struggling with. "By the way, eighteen across is Aardvark."

"Thanks."

The Doctor strolled over to the car. "Nice car by the way."

"Yeah, no-one has ever got it to work though. Two-face put in some sort of coded encrypter. We had to tow it in."

Outside the room he could hear the sounds of alarms going off and booted footsteps getting closer.

"That's the intruder alarm."

"Is it?" queried the Doctor

He pointed the sonic screwdriver at the door he had come through and pressed the button on it. The sonic screwdriver scrambled the motor circuits to lock the doors in place.

The sound of thumping from the door got louder and louder as did the alarms. The door started heating up as the police started cutting through it.

"Well, I would love to stay, but I think I'll borrow the car!"

He left the old man standing as he ran off. He opened the car doors and slid in. Quickly aiming his sonic screwdriver at the dashboard he fried the micro chips that locked the ignition sequence and in seconds had the car started. He roared up towards the garage doors and was just about to open them when the doors slid open to reveal half a dozen armed police officers.

The police, with a depressing lack of originality, started shooting at him. He ducked down and pressed the accelerator. The car shot forwards and made the officers dive out of his way. In seconds he was out of the station and onto the mean streets of Gotham.

Now to find Rose and the Tardis and stop the Daleks. Now where would Rose be going?

Arkham Asylum?

Gotham Central?

A clothes shop?

That party at Wayne Mansion! Well, it was probably over by now but a good a place as any to start!

* * *

The Master's Tardis opened up behind him and a gleaming metallic creature glided through. Its eyestalk swung around to look at the Master. The Joker and his men backed away a bit at this.

"Report!" it barked at the Master.

"I do not report to you," hissed the Master. "But if you must know, we have the virus in its incubated stage spread to the four corners of America and from there, the world. We must leave. This location will soon be overrun with police and vigilantes."

He walked over to the window to see Robin fighting with Diablo. Diablo was a huge bear of a man, incredibly quick and powerful with the well-toned body that came from years of mastering martial arts. He also had cybernetic implants in his arms, greatly speeding his reactions and making him punch harder.

It all meant nothing to Robin. He somersaulted towards Diablo and by the time his brain had got the instruction to block, the Boy Wonder's steel toe capped boot was already on his chest. He was hit with such massive force that he went flying through the door he had just come through.

The door disappeared in a cloud of splinters and dust.

"We do not need the Joker and his men anymore," said the Master to the Dalek. "Dispose of them." He turned dispassionately to the Joker and his gang. "Goodbye, Joker. We won't be meeting again."

"All enemies of the Daleks must be exterminated!" As the Master walked into his Time Machine he could hear the sounds that accompanied the Daleks throughout the galaxy. Death and destruction.


	10. Can the Joker make a dalek smile?

Batman and the associated characters owned by DC. Doctor Who and Torchwood owned by the BBC. . 

With thanks to Cmar for beta reading this for me, also thanks to Cmar, DragonFlame27, Excel, Superfan, Rabbit of Iron, Anonymousfog, Nikoru-chan, Speed Reader, thames and Louie Pastiche for the reviews so far!

All greatly appreciated thanks! All reviews welcome!

**Chapter Ten - Batman – Invasion**

"So who is this Bruce Wayne?" asked Rose.

The taxi driver, his eyes narrowed, surveyed her through the mirror. "You kiddin', right?"

"No, just a question."

"Richest man in Gotham, that's him, and believe me he has some competition. I don't normally take people outta town but not many people go to Wayne Manor. You English?"

"Yeah, so tell us about Bruce Wayne."

"Guys a loser." He cracked a smile at Rose. "You can do better than him, babe!"

"Whatever," said Rose and rolled her eyes. She turned to Jack. "We're seeing a millionaire. I haven't done my hair, I haven't got any new clothes. I haven't had a manicure in weeks. The Tardis has more labs than you can shake a stick at and has a mirror that somehow reflects things five minutes in the past. What use is that?"

"You look great, Rose." Jack peered out of the window as a strange car that looked like two cars welded together roared past them. "That driver looked strangely familiar. Not in aspect, in attitude."

* * *

Joker.

The Joker is a great many things. And great at many things. But he is not a great hero.

When the Dalek started exterminating his gang a hero would have saved somebody, he would have pushed himself in front of the death ray and died rather than see someone else die in his place.

The Joker pushed Katelyn Brinson in front of himself as the energy shot around him. Katelyn had been in his gang since she won a competition for best joke writer that he had set up on the back of a cereal box a few years ago on a dull Sunday afternoon.

She had potential.

She was also a good bodyguard. Now she was just a good body. The Joker shuddered as he could, for a brief second, see her skeleton glow in front of him before she collapsed. He rolled to the ground and felt in his pocket for a good comeback.

He threw a small squeaky purple ball at the Dalek. It bounced around randomly, the Dalek's eyestalk following its haphazard moves while the Joker scampered towards the door, nearly tripping up over one of his gang.

The ball exploded in a shower of purple razors. They bounced harmlessly off the Dalek's shell. It focussed on the Joker again and fired. The Joker's purple coat smouldered and crackled as it was hit and it fell to the ground in a sad pile, smoke pouring out of the sleeves.

The Joker was not in it. Two small remote control cars hurtled towards the Dalek, the engines buzzing in a high pitch. They exploded at its base, hurtling the Dalek back three feet.

The Master's Tardis behind the Dalek faded out of existence. The Joker tried a window and cursed as a small electric charge burnt a small hole in his purple gloves.

Trapped.

The Joker grinned as he turned to face his enemy. "Well, it looks like it's just you and me, chuckles. Let's see if you can crack a smile. Or let's just see if you can crack!"

* * *

The top of the tower block where the Batman stood was covered in weeds, moss and grass. The vegetation had drifted up from the countryside around Gotham as if the country was trying to reclaim the city. The far edge of the building was an impossibly straight cliff and the Batman stood at the edge of the void. His cloak eddying around him in the breeze like wings, he was like a dark angel ready to fall into the void or fly to salvation.

He could see his protégé fighting Diablo in the streets. It would take a highly trained psychologist and body language expert to see approval in his visage, but it was there.

The boy was doing well against an opponent twice his size. Batman's attention was drawn to one of the windows of the building. Flashes of light and the muffled crump of explosions showed a battle was going on.

Had the gang had a falling out? The Batman was old and wise enough to know that there was no honour among thieves. Only money. If you can't keep the money flowing, the gang will be going.

He had no idea what the situation was in the building, but he wouldn't find out staying where he was.

He fell into the void.

* * *

Wayne Manor. A jewel in the crown of Gotham. Owned by Gotham's elite for centuries. Now a rather strange car was parked outside the gate.

The Doctor looked at the gate with approval. It looked like a normal steel gate but it wasn't. He ran his sonic screwdriver over the outside of it briefly and looked at the readings he got back.

Titanium!

You would need a tank to get through this gate, and not just one but several. There was also an electric current running through it that would not just fry an elephant but have enough juice left over to sizzle a hippo.

Several sensors. Some not of Earth design? Who was this man? They were not obvious and to the untrained earthling it would see like nothing more than a gate. Still, he had broken into more buildings than Methuselah had had hot dinners. I wonder how Methuselah is? I haven't bumped into him for several centuries.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"What?" The Doctor stopped playing around with the settings on his sonic screwdriver.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"I was looking for the party?" The Doctor looked around for the source of the noise. It was a small speaker and camera that was pointing directly at him. It was so low tech he hadn't really paid it any attention.

"The party finished yesterday, sir."

"Right, yes, finished of course. Four-day parties haven't really hit Earth, have they? Need another century for that. You haven't seen a short blonde girl, have you? Very noisy? Always getting in the way."

"No sir. Forgive me a moment, sir, I just need to speak to Mr Wayne."

There was silence for a few moments.

The gate clanked open. "If you could come up to the house, please, sir. Mr Wayne is in an important business meeting at the moment but he has expressed a desire to meet you, in person."

"But I haven't given you my name yet?"

"Believe me, Doctor, we know your name."

A taxi roared up behind the Doctor's containing Captain Jack Harkness and Rose Tyler.

The gate clanged shut behind them, the boom having a worrying air of finality about it.

* * *

The glass in the window shattered inwards in a lethal shower of splinters. It was like a demon of hell had entered his domain. The floor was littered with bodies and smoke and flames were everywhere. And there in the centre. The Batman.

The flames cast his face into a strange half-light, his eyes glittered through the darkness. He could see his arch foe the Joker hiding behind a pillar to his right and in front of him…

A foe who could not be frightened by parlour tricks. One of those strange robots again. He threw a batarang at his enemy, at the same time ducking down. An energy bolt sizzled overhead and through the broken window, where it exploded harmlessly against the opposite building.

"Batman!" cried the Joker, his hands held up to his chin and fluttering his eyelashes flirtatiously. "My hero! You're here to rescue me! Oh save me, you hunky muscular hunk of man! Save me!"

The batarang exploded, pushing the Dalek backwards through a thin adjoining wall. A strange flapping purple bird followed the Dalek through the hole and exploded as well, this time covering the room, as well as the Dalek, with a layer of thick glutinous purple paint.

A strange acrid smell filled the room as it started to eat through the walls and whatever it touched.

Acid paint.

Damned ebay, thought the Batman as the paint dissolved part of his cloak. When he got out of here the first thing he would do is cancel the Joker's account.

With almost a casual throw he threw a pair of bolas at the Joker. This was two small balls with a long wire between them. They wrapped the Joker up to the pillar tighter than a Christmas turkey.

"Oooh! Tied up!" said the Joker. "I'm not that kind of girl! Not on a first date, anyway!"

"Keep your hands to yourself," said the Batman, stalking towards the now purple Dalek. "I'll be back."

The Dalek glowed for a few seconds as it ran a current through its outer shell. It then sizzled for a few seconds and the paint evaporated off the creature.

There was not a creature breathing the Batman could not beat.

But was this a creature and was it breathing?

With a swirl of his cloak he followed the Dalek into the darkness that it had been blown into.

"Show off," muttered the Joker under his breath.

* * *

Both cars pulled up outside Wayne Manor at about the same time. Rose leapt out of the car and ran towards the Doctor.

"Doctor!" she cried. She then tried to compose herself. "Hey, long time no see! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course. That's not Jack with you, is it?"

Captain Jack Harkness was a tall imposing good looking man. For a moment he didn't smile as he looked at the Doctor. Then whatever emotion he had left him as he grinned at him. "Doctor? You've changed. And not just your coat. I miss the big ears, but that's not a bad look for you."

"We can't hang around here," said the Doctor. "This place is chock full of Daleks. Jack, great to see you, we'll chat later."

"Not planning on abandoning me again?"

"Long story for another time," said the Doctor. "You don't seem to have changed since we last met. How long have you been here?"

"Long story for another time," said Jack. "So what are you trying to beat this time? Daleks, Cybermen, fashion sense?"

Whilst they were busy talking to each other they hadn't noticed the door to Wayne Manor had opened and Alfred Pennyworth was standing in it. "If you could wait in the foyer, please, lady and gentlemen. Mr Wayne will be back shortly." With a small curl of his lip he surveyed the Doctor's car (a stolen Two-face vehicle still with bullet holes in it). He glided over to the taxi driver and paid him off.

"Thanks for the invite but we can't really stay," said the Doctor.

"Just for thirty minutes, please sir," said Alfred.

"Come on Doctor?" said Rose. "We get to meet an American millionaire!"

"Okay, just for thirty minutes," said the Doctor as they followed Alfred into the mansion. "I wouldn't mind meeting the owner of this place myself."

"So what's a young guy like you doing in an old place like this?" Jack wrapped an arm around Alfred's shoulder, which the butler managed to shake off with uncanny skill.

"If you could wait here, please sirs," said Alfred, pointing at some comfy chairs in a small reception room. The window looked out over the Gotham hills. "Can I get you some tea or coffee while you wait?"

"Tea, please," said the Doctor.

"Milk?"

"Abyssinian goat," said the Doctor, whilst looking at the paintings.

Alfred stopped. "Abyssinian goat's milk in your tea?"

"No, that's an Abyssinian goat," he said, looking at a painting of some farm animals. "Cow's milk for me, please."

"I'll get the tray," said Alfred and walked out of the room. He closed the door behind him and there was a subtle click as the door closed.

Jack tried it out. "Locked! He's locked us in. Never trust an Englishman! No offence." He pointed at the Doctor.

"I'm not English, I'm Gallifreyan; it's just a common accent."

"Nothing common about you," said Jack.

"You're making me blush!"

"Will you two stop flirting and sit down?" said Rose. "I'm sure Bruce Wayne won't be long. I mean he is hardly out saving the world like us, is he?"

* * *

The Batman leapt through the gap in the wall to his foe, firing at him. He spun in midair to avoid the bolts whilst simultaneously sending two more explosive batarangs at him.

All the while he was studying his prey. It had some kind of energy shield over it. Its eyestalk should reduce its peripheral vision, giving him more leeway. It was fast, but not that fast.

Best option is to get in close. Take out its gun.

With a dizzying display of skill he leapt to the ceiling and pirouetted over the Dalek landing behind it. It had to be a machine, he reasoned. Some kind of remote control tank. The stalk at the top must be a camera, but the weapon? Some kind of light maser. It would need a serious power source to maintain. How many megawatts would it take to fire? How was it powered? Is there is some kind of exhaust vent; he might be able to disable it that way. And possibly more importantly, who was running these machines? Intergang? Luthor? None of the gangs in Gotham had access to this kind of technology, that he knew of.

He knew the Latino gang Mara Salvatrucha had a foothold in this neighbourhood. Or at least had until the Joker had carved his trademark face on the leader's forehead. They now kept a low profile here. Any higher and they would attract the Joker's attention. Higher still and they would attract him. When he had time he would take their gang out, and not socially.

He jammed some plastique explosive in the Dalek's gun and leapt back. The Dalek tried to fire at him and the resulting feedback explosion took the top off the Dalek as cleanly as an egg being cut by a knife.

He should get out of here now.

The last one he had taken out had levelled a city block when it self-destructed. What if this one did the same?

A pile of ash would teach him nothing.

The Batman held a hand to his face as the stench of burning fat hit him. Dropping a small air filter in front of his mouth he approached the machine cautiously. Small plink sounds started as it started cooling down. He peered down into it.

It was like nothing on earth he had ever seen before. No obvious microchips or servo motors. Just for once he would like an honest to God clue. Like the detectives always found on TV. A match case with a nightclub name and a phone number scrawled on it. A driver's licence with the perp's name on it. In this case some kind of manufacturer's warranty would be helpful.

He could see some tentacles and claws. Some kind of organic component? DNA computer? He had read about such things. Unless…

Was that an occupant? Had he killed? A cold sick feeling clutched his heart. Had he stepped over the line? A grey-green thing reared out of the Dalek and lashed out at the Batman. It was a twisted claw. Veins pulsed on the creature's arm as its claw attempted to throttle the life out of the Batman. He struggled with the creature but it had an unnatural strength belying its thin arm. Red spots appeared in the Batman's vision as he was slowly suffocated. A voice came out of the ruined, cracked shell of the Dalek. "I have failed. Will self terminate now, wide area spread to eradicate witnesses confirmed."


	11. A return to Arkham

Batman – Invasion It has been a very long time since I have written anything on here and I do apologise for that. I will try and be a more regular contributor again! If anyone is still reading or cares about this it does carry on!

With grateful thanks to everyone who has reviewed or commented on this in the past and I will try and be better at this in future!

**Chapter Eleven - Batman – Invasion**

The Batman struggled with the clawed arm gripping him. There had to be a nerve cluster controlling it somewhere.

Nothing.

No recognisable bone structure, it was like a jellyfish.

He could feel the claw round his throat start to cut through the Kevlar of his gorget. Black spots started to encroach his vision.

He reached down to his utility belt and pulled out a small vial of acid which he sprayed over the dalek creature.

With a hissing sound the dalek released him and the Batman leapt away like a scalded Bat.

"Nine, eight, seven…"

The numbers signalling his doom were fading into the distance as he sprinted out of the building. He could see the Joker had already escaped his bonds and had gone. He then leapt out of the window he had broken less than a minute ago just seconds before the building behind him vaporised.

This was getting to be a nasty habit.

* * *

Less than 20 minutes later a rather irritable Bruce Wayne stalked up the staircase in the Batcave towards his home and a sociable meeting with the Doctor. He stopped before the top of the stairs and took a deep breath. The muscles round his eyes and mouth relaxed and his eyes stopped glittering with fierce intensity.

By the time he opened the clock and stepped out into Wayne Manor he was once more in the disguise of the foppish billionaire of Gotham.

Alfred was standing guard outside the room. He raised a hand to his mouth to silence Bruce then whispered to him.

"I have kept them in their sir as you requested. I think they are getting a little twitchy. Be wary of the Doctor his jokey tone and attitude is but a front."

"Don't I know it," said Bruce Wayne, thinking of the time the Doctor had stolen the Batman's car. His vague smile turned fairly glacial as he thought of it. "Still I learn nothing here. Thank you Alfred, I don't think they will be staying long."

What was the Doctor doing here? Could he suspect Bruce and Batman being one and the same?

Impossible, he had fooled the finest minds of Gotham for years. Still wouldn't find out waiting in the hallway.

He fixed his face with a cheery slightly vapid smile and unlocked the door and opened it. The Doctor had his back to the door and seemed to be examining a small and chic Louis XVI style 'Pendule d'officier' carriage clock. He was doing more than examining he was just putting it back together.

He gave Bruce a happy smile. "Sorry about that, can't stand inefficient clocks. It was running ten minutes slow. Excellent quality French movement but obviously used to a different temperature variant than it gets here. I've made a few changes to the…" He stopped as he looked at Rose glaring at him and Bruce Wayne looking at him vacantly.

"I'm sorry, you came here to fix my clocks?" Asked Bruce.

"Well more time than clocks. Anyway may I introduce you to my friend and travelling companion Rose."

"Right," said Bruce. "Thanks for the introduction and you are?"

"Just call me the Doctor," said the Doctor giving him the benefit of his smile and reaching out a hand.

Captain Jack Harkness butted the Doctor out of the way and grabbed Bruce's hand as he reached over to shake it. "Hi Bruce, ignore him, I'm Jack by the way. May I call you Blue eyes?"

Rose pushed him out the way and stood in front of an increasingly bewildered looking Bruce Wayne. "You must forgive my friends they don't get out much," she glowered in there direction, "fortunately. Anyway I'm Rose Tyler. I'm really sorry we missed your party, but you know one thing after another happened as it always seems to happen with the Doctor as company. You know I used to think an adventure was not having enough salt on my chips? Anyway the Doctor is just company there is nothing going on with us."

"Hey!" said the Doctor who felt vaguely insulted but he wasn't too sure why.

"Anyway, I'm whittering now, must stop whittering."

Bruce Wayne closed his mouth. He didn't have it open for any useful exercise like breathing it's just his brain was trying to process what had been said and had quite forgotten about useful tasks like keeping his mouth closed. "I know it is an odd question and please don't think me rude but what are you doing here?"

"Ask her," said the Doctor. "She wanted to meet a millionaire."

"No I don't," said Rose her face taking on a reddish tinge.

Bruce's phone gave a muffled double beep followed by a single beep then a quadruple beep. "Well good, I'm sorry to have to rush you but I am a busy guy. Alfred show them out will you. Pleasure to meet you Doctor," He shook his hand as he ushered him out. "Jack." Jack shook his hand rather longer than necessary. "Rose." He lightly kissed her hand and looked into her eyes until she looked away. Rose giggled nervously and went to walk away. Bruce gave her a small-embossed business card. "I am sorry to be so busy at the moment my dear. What are you doing this evening?"

"Well…"

"Cancel it, I'm much more fun. I'll meet you at 7:30 at the Wild Fire Restaurant, corner of East and third."

"Errm why not 7?" Asked Rose desperately trying to get the initiative back.

"7:30."

"I've nothing to wear!" She wailed.

"You'll definitely get in then," said Bruce. "And probably some of your British tabloids as well. I can see the headlines naked British woman with Gotham billionaire."

"No I mean I don't have any clothes."

"Don't worry I'll lend you a tie," said Bruce pushing her out gently. "Alfred get them a cab to where ever they want to go."

The door closed behind them and Bruce reached into his pocket for his phone. The beep code was for a Joker related sighting. He pressed a ten-digit code into the phone and was rewarded by a small map of Gotham appearing on the screen. A small J letter was flashing on it. Also another letter, just leaving his mansion, was D. He had planted a small bug on the Doctor and Rose so he could track them.

Alfred returned. "Might I ask why you are dating the young lady tonight sir?"

Bruce was silent, his brow furrowed as he went through several menus and options on his phone. It had a direct connection to the Bat computer in his cave.

"I mean I realise she is a comely maiden but I thought you were busy with…"

"I heard you Alfred. These people are unknown and smell of trouble. I would rather know where they are at all times. Besides which I have the feeling this Doctor knows about these creatures." Bruce's manner did not brook further interruption. Several seconds later he looked up. "Daleks."

"I beg your pardon sir?"

"Daleks he called those creatures daleks. I've just been going through the logs of what they said while they were here."

"I didn't realise you recorded everything that was said here sir."

"Don't worry," said Bruce smiling, "I'll use a drinks mat next time."

"That comment was not directed at you personally sir."

"Call Oracle, get her to research everything on Daleks, inform the Justice League as well. They should be told if we have a possible alien invasion happening. And book me a table for two at the Wildfire Restaurant for 7:30 tonight. Actually better make it four, I've got a feeling the Doctor and Captain Jack will be about as well."

"Yes sir."

"Prepare my Alberto George suit for tonight as well with the red tie."

There was a short silence. "For a first date a blue tie is more respectable sir."

Bruce allowed himself a small smile. There were some battles not worth fighting. "Blue tie it is."

* * *

"We didn't even get a cup of tea?" Said the Doctor. "Did you notice he didn't offer us any tea? I mean there we were with an English Butler in an American house and he didn't offer us tea."

"Yeah well what can you do?" Said Jack vaguely as he looked back out of the taxi window as Wayne Manor disappeared into the background.

"Connections," said the Doctor.

Rose and Jack gave each a small glance.

"Connections," he said again.

"Okay I'll bite," said Jack. "What connections?"

"We missed the party right that the tardis stole those senators children from."

"Yeah they are back now according to the radio," Jack shrugged in the direction of the taxi drivers radio that was blaring out news reports. It was reported that the Batman had rescued them and it was followed by the stentorian tones of the President saying they would never give in to villains and criminals even with his family at stake.

Easy to think that now they are back home, thought the Doctor affably. "Anyway," said the Doctor, managing to interrupt his own train of thought. "This does not a dalek catch. There is something strange happening at Arkham. We are going to pay them a visit!"

"In case you haven't noticed Doc," said Jack indicating the radio in the taxi cab that was blurting out. "You're public enemy number one, two and three and you are worth more money than the winning lottery ticket."

The taxi drivers shouldered tensed a little at this comment but he carried on driving.

"There won't be a public if we don't stop them. You couldn't take us to Arkham could you please?"

"Senhor?" said the taxi driver.

"Llevarnos por favor a Arkham Asylum," said the Doctor.

"Si senhor."

* * *

The aroma of coffee and stale cigarette smoke filled his office. The cleaner and his staff had long since stopped trying to make him smoke outside. He walked over to where there was a small basin and poured a jet of cold water into it. He flung some water over his face with his hands.

Gordon's face was glistening with water droplets. He had had a quick wash in the basin to try and bring a measure of sharpness back to himself.

Was he under some kind of mind control?

His throbbing headache would not go away even with a giddy combination of aspirin, red bull, whisky and cigarettes.

Mind control.

He had been controlled before, the last time by the Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter and he knew the symptoms.

Everytime he tried to think of Stamer his memory blurred. In fact he could not even remember what he looked like?

Damn it! He would have control!

He took a deep breath and picked up the phone. He would order his men to ignore any orders from Stamer. He would order him arrested on site.

There was a gruff voice from the other end of the phone. They had had a tip off from a taxi driver that the Doctor was going to Arkham!

"Bullock this is the Commissioner. I want…" His throbbing headache started again. He wanted rid of Stamer. "I want the Doctor dead. Shoot to kill." His headache faded and a peaceful look too his face as the conditioning took hold again. "Kill the Doctor!"

* * *

The Joker was a man that revenge came to easily. The Master had tried to kill him so in return he would kill the Master.

He had heard that revenge was a dish best served cold. He disagreed. He preferred that revenge was served hot, spicy preferably in lots of little pieces.

He was alone.

His gang had been killed by the dalek. He grinned at this. It saved him the trouble. Anyone in the Joker's gang were better off with a bullet proof jacket than a pension scheme, although most of them ended up with a plot of land. Two foot wide, by six foot long and 12 foot deep.

He knew where the Master would be.

Arkham Asylum.

It would make a change to break into the place rather that break out but he always fancied a challenge.

* * *

Deep in the bowels of Arkham Asylum lie huge caverns. Carved out of the living rock by technology way in the advance of the "primitives" that live above are thousands of vats and a giant factory floor inserting the new dalek creatures into their new shells. At the end of one of these conveyor belts a gleaming dalek glides forward and joins its brethren. Eight metallic legs stretched out from the base of this dalek and with an unnatural speed it raced towards the back of the room and up the wall.

A moth fluttered away from the movement and landed on the wall. It spread its wings and flew on.

The impression of the moth remained in perfect relief as if imprinted on the wall. The image faded revealing for an instant a white and gold polycarbide shell then that faded back to the grey wall. An eyestalk glowing yellow appeared for just a brief second before becoming invisible again.

* * *

Arkham asylum. Apart from once a year the place was never open to the public. And there was a very good reason for this. Most of its inmates were rather lacking the social graces. This was why the guard at the front gate was rather surprised when the Doctor, Jack and Rose appeared in front of them waving psychic paper in front of him that said they were there for the open day. Still he wasn't paid to think, he was paid to stand there looking mean and surly, which he was rather good at.

He waved them through.

Curiously easy?

Rose was just dimly aware of what was going on around her. An actual date! Normally she would be texting Keisha and Shareen and they would plan her big night out in crazy detail – hair, what to wear, which bar to end up in. Should she kiss on a first date? With Bruce Wayne it had to be said that was a given.

The Doctor was nice, he was fun but he was over 900 years old! Any long term relationship with him would only be long term from her point of view. While she would be pushing a zimmer frame and working out what colour pills are for her sciatic hernia he would be chasing after aliens and probably breaking another young girls hear whilst he remained in blissful ignorance.

"Rose? Rose?"

She broke out of her reverie as she saw the Doctor gesture to her. They were in a posh foyer to Arkham Asylum, all brightness and marble. A large disgruntled looking security guard wearing black sunglasses eyed them from the back of the room. The Doctor ignored him as he walked up to the turnstile. There was a slot for a security card. Using his coat to hide what he was doing he turned his sonic screwdriver onto the slot. The tools bulbous tip glowed blue as ultrasonic frequencies bombarded the workings of the lock. With a clanking sound the turnstile spun and all three of them walked through.

The guard raised his communicator to his mouth.

"The Doctor is in the building."


End file.
